Today, I was talking to an ex who I still love. He told me how much he wanted to see me, how much he missed me, and we started talking about when we could spend the day at his house. I mentioned Saturday, and he said, "I can't, I have to take my fiancée to the doctor's to find out our baby's gender." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my ex, who told me he had something very important to tell me. I thought he was about to tell me that his girlfriend is pregnant (a fact I already knew). He told me that he still loves me and he'd never stopped. FML
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML
Today, my fiancée decided to go on a 3-hour trip because she needed a break from the baby and me. I forgot to mention who she went with: her ex. FML
Today, my ex called and said he still loved me. I said I’d move across the country to be with him. Then he said we could live in his dad’s house, so I can protect him from his sister’s best friend, who gave him chlamydia. At the end of call, he said he’s seeing someone and he likes her because she buys him gifts and food. FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML
Today, my boyfriend took a day off from work because he felt "sick". I thought he might come see me since he hadn't come over in a while. Nope, he went to hang out with his ex instead. FML
Today, I should be spending my birthday with my boyfriend of 8 months. Instead he's visiting his ex, who's pregnant with a baby that "may or may not be" his. FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's mother's funeral. His step-sister proudly announced that she's pregnant with his baby and they are engaged. FML
Today, as things were finally heating up with a guy I'm interested in, his ex-girlfriend from two months ago called. Guess who's pregnant and guess who's still in a seven-month dry spell. FML
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Top comments
BLNovelist 0
Going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he may 'miss you' as a friend rather then wanting you as a girlfriend again...in which case, get over it and move on. He obviously did. HOWEVER, if that isn't the case and he's just a two-timing asshole, you just got warned of it before jumping in again. Either way, where is the FML? You are better off without him. :/
MyThoughtsR 0
wow lol. that's a pretty high level of scumbaggery!
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Comments (167)
dabomb691 0
he just said he wants to see her one day. wheres the douchebaggery? shes just twisting his words so that she can feel a little bit of hope
lostfaithinpppl 19
I agree. Missing someone doesn't mean you want them as your girlfriend/boyfriend. He obviously just wanted to see you as a friend, OP. You took his words the wrong way. He wouldn't have told you about his fiancee and baby on the way if he wanted to cheat with you.
mama2b3 20
gross what an ass.
sucks4Udude 3
Who. Gives. A. ****. Snick. Also, fyl OP.
fisheatsbear 6
"today, I was talking to an ex"... *clicks ydi*
pepokish 0
My thoughts exactly.
wordgirl 0
Extremely excellent, eatsbear! :D
gisii1988 0
wow!!! amazing but i dont think he is a douchebag! if u was trying to play with her he would not have told her wat he was doing on saturday!??!! lol the op is the pyscho one her!
dfeucht328 0
uh.... what? in english please
CharlotteRx 4
@Dfe.. something about Saturday, perhaps... ?
Buffel 0
Hmm, let me take a shot at tranlating that. "wow!!! amazing but i dont think he is a douchebag!" Wow! Amazing, but I don't think he is a douchebag. OK, that part is pretty easy to understand. Now it starts to get tricky. "if u was trying to play with her he would not have told her wat he was doing on saturday!??!! lol the op is the pyscho one her!" If you were trying to play with her (referring to, um, the fiancée?) he would not have told her (referring to the OP) what he was doing waffle on the trees outside your... Damn, I think my translator just broke. :(
xundria 5
lmao buffel
brianjman14 23
Buffel, that just made my day. :)
gisii1988 0
wow!!! amazing but i dont think he is a douchebag! if u was trying to play with her he would not have told her wat he was doing on saturday!??!! lol the op is the pyscho one her!
CharlotteRx 4
@Sucks4u.. I do! hahaha good grammar is sexy : ) YES, I love geeks/nerds/smart people :$
penpal33 7
LoL ... You have compulsive disorder snicks. Do consult a psychiatrist!
penpal33 7
OP, you know what you have to do. He is your ex now, so try to get over him and find someone else
ninba20 0
what an ass he has is girl preggo and want u... blow him off...he is not worth it
CharlotteRx 4
@Snicks HAHAHAHAHAA I thought I was the only one who imagined spaghetti sauce when hearing/reading the word 'preggo' xD
penpal33 7
What a pair you both will make?! A match made in heaven... LoL
MyThoughtsR 0
lesbian much???
containsnosoy 0
Since sisters are lesbians... o_0
wordgirl 0
OH NOEZ: It's incest, too. :/ :D Snick, I'm just kidding about.
Domonator 16
I have to say that I, too, always think of spaghetti sauce when I hear the so-called word, "preggo". In addition, hearing the name of a certain brand of spaghetti sauce makes me think of an obnoxious word that some people use to refer to pregnancy. Until now, I thought that I was alone in this, but you have changed that. Thank you.
ItbeVickyyy 0
Me thinks that too o_0
metrockick10 0
#55-- Only in the Deep South.