Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML
Today, my girlfriend hit me on the head with a frying pan for a funny video, because she thought it would go bonk and make me do a funny reaction. She must be a new kind of stupid cause I got four stitches, a hairline fracture, and a headache. FML
Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML
Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML
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Top comments
justmyluck1212 0
Tell her u've got amnesia & can't remember her
dogsickftl 0
'HEADS UP' Sorry, Couldn't resist. LMFAO must of been funny.
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Comments (87)
HeyitsPheddy 0
Maybe you should be dating a guy if your girlfriend touching you makes you freak out
SortaBlack 0
Moral of the story girls aren't funny
LeoBrZ81 0
Demand she sex the staples out of ur head. what's with all the psycho girlfriends dominating FML?
pepperburn 0
Dude just use this to your advantage and demand all kind of sexual favors for a month
burnhamt23 0
#5 ftw
Luneth101 0
Dang man, that sucks. Don't be hard on her though, it was an accident and she's probably thinking of jumping in front of a semi or something.
lady_gogo 0
You'll live!
keyairia 0
ah. don't worry. i'm sure she did an FML too. "today, i thought it would be funny to poke to my boyfriend when he was getting me my favorite snack food from a low cabinet......."
Nathan_Dorian 0
My fiance read this FML out to me over the phone last night after saying, "This sounds like something that will happen to us."
_khAttAm_ 0
Give her the link to website fmylife.com :D