Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
Today, while skiing, the creepy guy controlling the chair lift said I was pretty. I was so caught off guard that I fell off. FML
Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML
Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML
Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her, "Get the fuck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. Aside from falling every 2 minutes, I was apparently showing the entire mountain (including my dad) my thong every time I fell and got back up. My boyfriend saw everything and didn't let me know until we finished the 20-minute run we were on. FML
Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML
Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time in years. Almost immediately, I realized that my shorts were no match for the forces of gravity. I spent the rest of the ride clinging to my seat for dear life while trying to subtly cover my exposed ass. FML
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Top comments
Enslaved 38
She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes.
Tempest151 11
Sounds like that lift ticket payed for itself.
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Comments (128)
SApprentice 34
The wind hits her face as the seat beneath her begins to rise, the cold scorching her cheeks and making her eyes burn. Over the faint hum of machinery she can hear her siblings laughing and the sounds of conversation from the other riders. Briefly, she regrets getting on in the first place, because the ground is just so far away, and she can't seem to breath now. Her stomach tightens as her lift goes higher, each foot farther sending her heart plunging into her navel. Just when she thinks it can't get any worse, the metal under her begins to vibrate furiously, and- ****.
RoboCunnilingus 23
50 Skis Of Grey.
elodymayweeble 7
This has got to be one of the best threads I've read in awhile!
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Still a better love story than twilight.
lux0rd 18
Saddest part is 50 shades was a twilight fan fic.
lonelyharts86 8
All orgasms are involuntary.
Enslaved 38
Can't say I agree.
SApprentice 34
If everyone had involuntary orgasms only, well, the world would be even more sad than it already is. Where's the fun in having a car if you never learn how to drive it?
cuponoodles34 10
no. I think most of them are..
challan 19
Then I rape myself every day?
dontpanic_fml 32
While 14's comment is a bit irrelevant, it is correct. You guys are thinking of acts purposed to achieve ******. The ****** itself is involuntary. While you can voluntarily have sex, **********, fantasize, rub yourself, etc. for the purpose of attempting to achieve ******, you can no more make yourself ****** than you can make your stomach digest something.
sabbyheartswhat 23
No way! I watched like Dr. Phil or something like that and there's a lady who can make herself ****** just by thinking about it. I can't remember her name but I'd YouTube it if you don't believe me.
dontpanic_fml 32
No, that was my point. To be graphic, I ********** through fantasy only, but I still can't MAKE the act of ****** happen.
brackaman 18
Who knows? Maybe your sis and stepmom were just able to hide it better than you.
kait11 16
I'm sorry:/ that blows you were with your family! I never thought that a simple ski lift could have that much power...
crazytwinsmom 25
It's not the power, but the technique.
Geometric 18
You know that is a huge coincidence, just the other day I watched a hypnotist trick people into thinking they were on vibrating orgasmic chairs...
ThatsMyPie 20
Not ironic. Just coincidental.
josiem 11
#23 didn't say it was ironic.
blackvyper 8
Did you take that ski lift again?
crazytwinsmom 25
And again and again and again...
0h_Boy 26
I guess there's no need to ask if you had a good trip?
Satoaoi 13
well damn
perdix 31
Even more awkward: Trying to explain why you were the only one riding the ski lift DOWN the mountain. . .and up and down and up and down . . .
sirjuice35 11
that's pretty awesome