Today, my car wouldn't start, so I had to wait for AAA. Then, hurrying to pick up my brother, I got a $161 speeding ticket. Twenty minutes later, I got a call from him saying he didn't need a ride anymore. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Low priority
Today, on my way for a vacation, my car started misfiring, so I called a tow truck. Forty minutes later, the tow truck arrived. He then said that he had just gotten another priority call, so he was leaving, and someone would be back in another hour to get us. FML
Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML
It never rains, it pours
Today, I got a speeding ticket in the mail, at the same time as my car was getting towed. FML
Today, my car broke down. I pulled to the side of the road to call a tow truck. After waiting what seemed like hours, the tow truck showed up, and then ran into the back of my car. FML
Today, I went out to my car to run some errands. It wouldn't start. I called AAA, only to find out my battery wasn't dead, it was stolen. FML
Road rage
Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20 km/h over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML
Today, my car broke down on the highway, and I had to call for a tow truck. It finally showed up, only to break down too less than a mile later. Cue nearly freezing to death while we waited for help to arrive for the both of us. FML
Ticket to ride
Today, after I just finished a 16-hour double shift, my brother asked me to ride with him to do an Instacart. While delivering these people’s groceries, his car overheated and oil light came on. He had no money, so I had to fix and pay for the parts. FML
Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML
Today, coming home from a trip in the mountains, I got a cracked radiator and my car overheated. My dad came to get me, he drove my car and I followed in his. I got pulled over and ticketed for his expired registration. FML
Top comments
whyme203 15
you shouldn't have been speeding I'm sure your brother would have understood why you were late
Schizomaniac 24
Then it /is/ an FML. -_-
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (141)
Delaneymarie 0
that sucks!:(
iTaylor 0
First of it's "AAA" and secondly it's "after" not "alter" :)
Arsonnist 3
Or "later." Just a letter switch.
KiddNYC1O 22
or "later"
530boy 0
^ First of what?
MzMegs 20
@#9, or maybe it's "later" instead of "alter." @OP, I would hate it if that happened to me. :( FYL.
AlterFukiinRoccz 0
agree wiit 13 && pluss i think he meant laterrr not after #freakin 9.. dumbass ! ;D
530boy 0
*@9*
Arsonnist 3
Well I guess we're all on the same page here. Or thread.
KiddNYC1O 22
she meant "First off,"
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Ydi for speeding. Woman can't even drive the speed limit correctly, don't push it! You shouldn't even have cars in the kitchen
KiddNYC1O 22
27 will bust a cap, 9
skittle68 0
sucks, but ydi for speeding. not like it's going to get you there THAT much faster...
the_flirtt 0
wow make him pay for it.
KiddNYC1O 22
eh, the only place I'm familiar with guns is on COD MW2. ump45 and intervention ftw
Schizomaniac 24
47: "Just some bad luck" is a sentence fragment.
Geiko_fml 0
If you're that pissed to punch a wall or bag over that, jeesh. Crazy.
KiddNYC1O 22
at first it was the Barrett but now it's definitely intervention.
KingDingALing 9
WTF ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?!?!?
Vanni 0
Calm down, all! Sorry about all the mistakes in this one. I fixed them. Thanks, guys. A cookie for each of you. =D
zp5 4
I wish I was here for the cookies :(
MissErikaHart 0
ain't nobody here to ****** take lessons and learn shit. 10 months a year, for 12 years 6-8 hours a day can't make someone type correctly then WTF is fml supposed to do??
hockeylover7171 0
wow everyone calm your hormones!
hockeylover7171 0
I mea like really? these comments and the fml are not letters to the president so why the **** does grammar matter this much? holy shit
MissErikaHart 0
no it's not gonna improve it. it only makes whoever ur tryin to school annoyed. I'm just not seeing a whole lotta "oh thank u so much for correcting my errors, good thing u were here to correct me and set my shit strait"
illmatic2 16
79- Your poor capitalization and punctuation in previous comments begs to differ.
hockeylover7171 0
83- way to pwn 79. But really you are correct.
samanthadude 0
MissErika, as long as there are people who are making mistakes, there are going to be people correcting them. Ignorance, Pendatik, FFML_314 and all the other grammar Nazis aren't going to stop for you or anybody else who is "annoyed" by their comments. You can say that people don't improve from people correcting other's grammar and/or spelling on FML, but they do. Believe it or not, my friend, Laura, learned the difference between your/you're on FML.
MissErikaHart 0
85.....
samanthadude 0
All I get is an emoji? I'm disappointed.
hockeylover7171 0
85. you're (sorry nazi's your) comment reminds me of many time I haves received shut on fml for stupid grammatical errors like missing an apostrophe or something. Very true comment :)
DocBastard 40
Just because you are out of school is no reason not to continue learning. Life is a continual learning experience. The intelligent people are the ones who take what life gives them and use it for good. If that means learning grammar on FML, then so be it.
illmatic2 16
Hey now buddy. All I did was politely point out that it's not as easy as you might think. No need to get hostile.
Freeze_fml 17
Sounds like that insult bothered you.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
So many people are overlooking a key point in this Grammar Nazi thing. The argument started due to mistakes in the FML, not a comment. Obviously the corrections did in fact make a difference, because Vanni fixed it soon thereafter. Using proper grammar is important in two places on this site: in the FMLs, and in any comment in which the user wants or expects to be taken seriously. In the former, I know grammar is important to the site staff. Since not all of them are native English speakers (and all of them are human and make mistakes), they appreciate us pointing out typos that affect the meaning and professional appearance of the FML. You don't get book deals by typeing lyk dis. The latter case is self-explanatory. ITRW, people judge you on how well you present yourself. Here, that often means whether you type in an intelligible way. And if you DGAF about your grammar, or don't care whether you're taken seriously, why GAF and get all butthurt when someone corrects you? Ignore it and move the hell on.
RugbyKid 0
105 she never said she was wishing death she simply stated that they will die someday, everyone will so why insult her?
FFML_314 12
As I was reading this thread, my eye began to twitch. I can't /stand/ people that say grammar is not important, because it is. Whether you choose to accept it or not is your own choice. I do know that people do use what we say and they try their best to correct it. As much as they put up a fight at first, more times than not, I won't see them make the same mistake again, because people don't like being called out on a mistake. It's human nature. I would rather see someone genuinely not know how to spell a word, rather than ignorantly misspell a word out of sheer laziness. How hard is it to type of the word, "you" I mean honestly? I don't intend for people to take what I say too heart. It's not meant to be a personal attack on anyone, but when you blatantly disregard your own intelligence, it's insulting to yourself. Why portray yourself as less than what you can be? Why not strive to be better? Is there really something wrong with expecting people to do better or holding yourself at a higher standard? Call me vain, call me conceited, call me stuck up, but I will tell you that at the end of the day, I can lay down happy, knowing that people can look up to me. I can be an influence on a generation that suffers with enough issues. There are so many things that are out of our control in everyday life, but if there's one thing that you have control over, it's yourself and the way you choose to present yourself. If you lay down with dogs, you'll get fleas. Who you hang out with, is who you become. How you type, how you talk, will take part in where you life goes. You need to take control of the only thing in life you can. Take advantage of your opportunity to improve something that's important. It /is/ obvious that you care about making mistakes. As much as you say you don't. That is why I correct people. There will come a point when people appreciate me in some way or another. When it is a simple mistake such as the wrong "your" it is unbelievably common and certainly something I'll always correct, because it is so noticeably easy to fix. Hold yourself to a higher standard people. Prove the Grammar Nazis wrong! Also, *Trolls. That was for, 47. :)
Schizomaniac 24
116 who* to* :)
FFML_314 12
Yeah, there was bound to be at least one or two in there. LOL, thank you.
FFML_314 12
Wait, I read through my post. Where are those mistakes? I'm blind, LOL!
FFML_314 12
I FOUND IT! LOL.
sourgirl101 29
Haha, I saw those too. Dont forget the word "of". It has become even clearer to see now that I know what to look for. And TIJD should know I'm smiling ear to ear after reading her code words.(:
FFML_314 12
I'm trying to figure out if you're being sarcastic, 127.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Anna, one near the top, "can't stand people who* say", and one toward the middle, "what I say to* heart". Also, thanks for making me look short-winded this time. ;)
Schizomaniac 24
I beat you to the punch, Jane. :)
Schizomaniac 24
Wait, I think you were just pointing out where they were. DAMN IT.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Heh, Q, I definitely thought of you while writing them! :D I can't remember using "ITRW" previously, but I trust you since it sounds like me. And I like it! BTW, did you look up RPS's "YMMV" yet? ;)
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Yup, Eli. But Anna found 'em before my reply anyway.
Schizomaniac 24
My apologies. *Head down in shame*
sourgirl101 29
No I have not yet. Will you- pretty please with sugar on top- save me the trouble of urban dictionaring it? (:
FFML_314 12
LOL! I feel much better after writing that. Like I'm somehow appreciated. Also, even Grammar Nazis make mistakes. It's OK to be corrected. Take it in strides. I know they didn't correct me to feel better about themselves. Well Eli probably did, but Jane is just a helpful person! :P
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Ha! OK, just this once, since I'm so helpful and all. ;) It's "Your mileage may vary", a takeoff of those car commerials. It's used to indicate "I don't guarantee the results I've implied if you follow this advice." Thanks, Anna. I try to be.
Schizomaniac 24
My freaking comment will not post. In a nutshell, eFf U @nN@!!!!1&@$1!!
sourgirl101 29
My comments too. Select and copy saves headaches. Owwww Jane. I was expecting something dirty since it's coming from RPS.(:
ashly1994 0
lol
Aoifexzx 3
troll FAIL
pnellab 0
jd
530boy 0
Your life is meant to be shitty.
Toiga 0
Car must be Japanese...just saying
hockeylover7171 0
your a racist bastard... Just saying
530boy 0
how is that comment racist?
bummervacation 10
Eh, not much of an FML. Just a minor inconvenience. Except for the ticket, of course.
Schizomaniac 24
Then it /is/ an FML. -_-
hockeylover7171 0
Fail. first you say it isn't an fml. Then you say except for the ticket. Other than the inconvenience the ticket is the main part of the fml. Just saying.
samanthadude 0
He never said it wasn't an FML, he said it wasn't MUCH of an FML..
sallen0046 4
The ticket is the part that doesn't qualify. Your car not starting isn't generally something you have control over. If you pay attention to what you're doing, you can always avoid a speeding ticket. You can't complain about how ****** your life is if you did something illegal and got caught doing it.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
It all qualifies, sallen, because it all got published as an FML. Regardless of whether it merits a YDI or a YLS, it's still an FML. If "totally unavoidable" was a qualification for publication on the site, the voting feature wouldn't exist, and a good percentage of these stories wouldn't have been accepted.
blackhamster97 7
o that sucks FYL
bebe1228 0
well damn
Jostine_fml 0
ohhh shite
OhMyHolyBalls 0
Oh shiz, I jizzed.
AlyWallyy 0
oooohhhh
travisrocker 0
twenty minuets alter????? lol
hidingoutt7 0
I'd be pissed and say well then don't ask me for a ride anymore bitch
edenclaire 0
awh, that sux :[ i kno how ya feel