Today, while walking barefoot through my house, I saw something shine on the floor across the hallway. Curious as to what it was, I rubbed my foot across the carpet to feel it. It wasn't until it was deeply lodged in my foot did I realize it was an open safety pin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML
Today, I realized why buying clear pins for the wall is a bad idea. If one falls out, you won't be able to see it with your eyes, but your foot will find it just fine. I also learnt foot wounds can produce a pretty significant geyser of blood. FML
Today, I had the most uncomfortable feeling in my socks, but I didn't care to check. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that the feeling was a small thin piece of glass that was slowly cutting away at the bottom of my foot. I still don't know how it got there. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML
Today, a thumb tack came out of one of my posters on my wall. The sole of my foot had the pleasure of finding it. FML
Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML
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Top comments
jnanderson 16
"Hey, there's a thin shiny thing on the floor, maybe if I step on it, I'll know what it is!" -OP
ZY1431 24
well thats just a safe thing to do...
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Comments (69)
pfdrhllzyea 6
Idiot.
JohnTheLad 13
Curiosity lodged a pin into the bottom of your foot. Careful of those shiny bug-zappers, as well as any open flames. :/
Kaylias 6
Ooh a shiny thing inside the carpet!! Let me just rub my foot on it if it's shiny it must be safe and soft nothing like shards of glass or pins :)!!!
joannedeniseTM 7
how could you be so dumb?? lol
ragini95 16
I've done this and continue to, so I feel your pain OP.
TheMystery13 13
Moron #1: Hey, what's that on the ground? Is that dog shit? Moron #2: Could be. It LOOKS like dog shit...smell it! Moron #1: *sniff* It SMELLS like dog shit! Hmm...touch it! Moron #2: Gross, it FEELS like dog shit! But I'm still not sure...taste it! Moron #1: UGH!! It TASTES like dog shit! Moron #2: Well, if it LOOKS like dog shit... Moron #1: ...and SMELLS like dog shit... Moron #2: ...and FEELS like dog shit... Moron #1: ...and TASTES like dog shit... Moron #2: ...it must be dog shit! Moron #1 & 2: GOOD THING WE DIDN'T STEP IN IT!
alexis8525 8
That hurt to read. My foot hurts.