Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, while having sex with the guy I have seen for about 3 years, he answered the phone. I found out that he had a girlfriend while he was inside me. FML
Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML
Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
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Top comments
mrose57 0
You should have said "sure!", then brought him to the brink, stopped, got up, grabbed his phone, threw it in the toilet and walked out.
arielhoee 9
You should've told him to swallow it himself. (:
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Comments (94)
Mortanious 0
FYL, kick him out and dump him. What an asshole!
mikeymuscles112 0
If things dont work out with him a have a daughter who is 17 shes a lesbian too
brkn_hearted 0
bite him!
Nighta9 0
damn thats not funny
paramore7890 0
u shouldve told him I've had bigg
Brandon25 0
yeah sure he did, nice fake
Beautiful89 0
Wow he is asshole...u should never speak to him again
KingAfter 0
you should've given him a headbutt whilst punching him in the face with your fist.
omghehehe 0
although i would've just walked off and told him to F Off if he called again, thats good advice!!! Grabbing the phone and saying, "excuse me but were in the middle of F@*king. he will call u back!" kick him in the nuts and walk out on his ass!!! :) i feel better now
Ninjaface 0
You'd better have said yes, then gone to make him a sandwich! ...I'm surprised and kind of disappointed that perdix didn't say that.
FoundManyLemons 0
He's not "your guy."