Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said, "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML
Today, I went to see my girlfriend to talk about my anxiety, because it's been a big issue. She broke up with me instead. FML
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Top comments
Vegeto30294 19
Its obvious that you're psychic and saw it coming beforehand. However, you can only use this power in your sleep.
WeAreAHurricane 14
Who said dreams didn't come true?
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Comments (144)
Schizomaniac 24
What if you're still dreaming? Did you think of that? We're watching you, Dave.
tweiler 15
She probably broke up with you because you're so needy and insecure you had to be reassured after having a nightmare.
antixx101 0
Way to forecast the future batman
neurodoc 1
Were you in level 1, 2 or 3 or dreaming? (Inception)
Ugi 27
That's quite an overreaction. And quite a feat of logic. She breaks up with you for not believing that she would never break up with you? That's rather like the babelfish proving that God doesn't exist because it's too useful to have happened by chance. Tell her to be careful on those Zebra Crossings!
tweiler 15
I love a good Hitchhiker's Guide reference.
FatelBlade 8
Did no one try to correct it to Darth?
BBLLAAHHHHHfml 0
Damn... That's kinda harsh.. :c
asamir 11
If you get lucky again and hook with a new girlfriend in the near future, don't sleep, ever.
wozman 0
The irony is strong with this one.
JustJumped 22
Women make no sense