Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
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Top comments
AngelBubblesRose 0
gross
penguinking12345_fml 0
Lol how would u deserve it??????
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Comments (19)
veghead95 6
fyl- i hate it when people do that!!
stun23 8
just...lol
nabs_fml 5
hahah disgusting!
BloodyMary666 24
Eww eww eww, I really can´t think of anything else to say but EWWW!!!
Striker13_fml 0
That really sucks!!!
Callyn 47
Have fun with that snot.
tiggerlover100 27
Thats so disgusting op. Truly FYL. I can't possibly think of a way in which you would deserve it.
fmyinternet 13
That's snot okay... Kill me
Lovebunny21 6
Congratulations, you may now have covid, bud.