Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, and sent her a text saying "Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways." She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML
Today, this guy I was seeing dumped me for "bombarding" him with text messages. I'd sent him one text asking if he was okay, after he stood me up 2 nights in a row. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy, who decided to rudely text message his friend the whole time. When I got home, I realized he'd been texting the girl he was going to hookup with after our date; she happens to be my roommate. FML
Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML
Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML
Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
craze189 0
ydi for texting anyone that you have "explosive diarreah". FHL for having to read it.
spank_u_veryhard 0
maybe he has a shit fetish lmao response back from him: I'm skipping baseball practice. I'll be right over...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (60)
Darksun1 0
Haha woooooow! can I get fries with th
spank_u_veryhard 0
maybe he has a shit fetish lmao response back from him: I'm skipping baseball practice. I'll be right over...
Messeract 4
Lol what if
Justine Malang 16
Goddamn lol that's funny asf
iheartjustinsane 0
YDI for being a **** AND a dumbass! Good job!
Brennaa69 5
Lol being a ****? Thats a bit over the top.. she was only talking to the guy.
craze189 0
ydi for texting anyone that you have "explosive diarreah". FHL for having to read it.
craze189 0
*diarrhea
Wooddaver 0
so you're saying he ****** the shit out of you yesterday? YDI for having rough sex with a stranger.
Cowless 0
It's a hook up. Why do you care?
Spac3Ghost 0
hahaha!!! your life dude =) YDI it hard for not proof checking!!! =)
dazzlingstar1987 0
hahahah I would play it off like u were joking if it's not too late
wtsc 0
YDI for being a **** and a moron at the same time!