Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML
Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML
Today, to amuse my girlfriend, I put on her sexy nightshirt and went out on the balcony for a smoke, all while shaking my booty about in front of her window. She laughed, until one of her neighbors shouted, "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML
Today, I was feeling motivated to improve my unhealthy miserable life and went for a jog. Halfway through, I tripped on my own shoelace and scared a couple walking their dog. According to my wife, it's already been gossiped about in our neighborhood. FML
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Top comments
FlightNav 0
Wearing that shirt in public is just *asking* for a FML to happen. That's a total "you deserve that one", dude. Nice.
amirn86 0
Oh man... that's why I could never get myself to actually wear shirts like that, out of fear for situations like that happening to me
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Comments (77)
dcapp 0
why would you wear that in public??
member0987654321 0
how could you not know what shirt your wearing? and why would you wear that jogging? you'd get like rapped
krazinluvv 0
why the F**** would you wear a shirt like that??????
ssuseawolves2011 0
id never wear a shirt like that.. anywhere..and im 19
greatnt249 0
#55, what the hell does your age have to do with it? At any rate, laugh at the FML for what it's worth...enough of the ethics brigade.
abouttofly 12
How exactly is the shirt humorous? It just sounds offensive to me.
MJC84 0
Why would you even wear that shirt? It's certainly isn't humorous. And why in God's name would you wear it in public? You must have brain damage.
Jesus_Cookies 0
pwned by a t-shirt
llllPsycho 0
That's awesome. I want a shirt like that.
Dunne147 0
Just hope they didn't notice that you were wearing it. maybe you'll be lucky and they'll just forget about it, but you definitely deserved that one if they did notice though.