Today, my coworker told me she knew about my secret boyfriend because she has a "sixth sense" about these things. I'm too embarrassed to tell her I'm desperately single and the last date I went on was three years ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that a girl who I really liked at work, who is my manager and with whom I'm friends, and who knows I like her, has been secretly dating someone else who works there for a month, and everyone at work knew except me, because she didn't want to tell me. FML
Today, a classmate found out I have a boyfriend. He said, "Really? YOU??" FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML
Today, the girl I had a crush on for the past few months called me and wanted to tell me something. Excited, I agreed and we went out to dinner. She wanted to tell me she had been secretly seeing 'someone' for the past six months. FML
Today, during my dinner break, I was forced to listen to a coworker talk about how he dumped his needy ex for another woman. I'm the ex. We kept our relationship secret from our coworkers. I guess now I know why he dumped me. FML
Today, a girl I've liked for the longest time kept asking me to reveal my "deepest secret" in exchange for hers. Thinking this was flirting, I told her my secret was that I liked her. Her secret was that she was a "lesbian and just had to tell somebody." FML
Today, my friend pointed out that I’ve developed crushes on my last two bosses. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that before then, I had a secret crush on a professor back in college, too. Yet, I wonder why I’m single. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
He's so secret even you don't know about him!
Mr_Zachary 0
what the **** 27?
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Comments (147)
gye83 0
sixth sense my ass but sorry about that my last girlfriend was 4 years ago and she moved to Colorado
SirSantpoort 0
Why dont you just go on a date? Even if your shit ugly.. Every jar has a lid..!.. Or something like that..
boopityboppity 11
But what about the lids that are interchangeable? Speaking in terms of jars, of course.
seanreddog 4
Those jars are *****
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Ha!
JEEP67 0
lose weight
BRBsummer 9
Haha. Your Aim name should ne Desprate3YearSingle
sindy23 0
awww it's okay u don't need a man to be happy
RuMyDaisy 0
Damn @ 44 you are in fantastic shape. You must live in a gym. =}. Now are you on the right?
Stellar_Bxtcheee 0
#42 Or "seanreddog" , You Go On FML Lots , Like Lots & Comment On Everythinq , Why ?
boopityboppity 11
And you have an obsession with the shift key and spacebar.
seanreddog 4
Because I have no life
aback 5
Smile and laugh. Then hit the bars at closing time.
Stellar_Bxtcheee 0
#53 - I Know , Its Just . Just How I Am & Have To Type . #54 - I See , Me Either . But I'm 13 .
boopityboppity 11
You're from Canada, so I forgive you.
lajaynay 15
Typing is not defined by how or who you are. That's just stupidity.
boopityboppity 11
That's not entirely fair, lajaynay. She could have OCD, in which case it — her typing, that is — would be defined by how she is. Unlikely, perhaps, but it's a possibility. Objurgating her typing seems very unnecessary.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Is objurgating your word of the day?
boopityboppity 11
... I like that word.
ScorpSoul 7
Couldn't you say you're just single? Drama queens x
THT_WUT_SHE_SAID 0
buhh! no looks = no bf. it's life.