Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted to try something that would turn me on immediately. While I was in our bed, she came in, wearing only the underwear she took from our 13 year-old daughter's closet. Now she doesn't understand why I'm genuinely disgusted and don't want to have sex with her. FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
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Top comments
MukyDaCookie 0
That's what you get for leaving the toilet seat up
dRose22 0
just pulled the underwear in the wrong direction :D
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Comments (226)
theodivine 0
Haha that's awesome.
monkeysricecold 0
What a bitch!
zinc55 0
that's a keep
Stephasushi 0
why?
anchorsocks 0
wow. blue balls suck.
JohannaMorphine 0
Bahaha. Owwie. I would have done the same. =X
SaintJimmothy 0
My girlfriend read this post and did the same thing to me.
YelloAsylum 0
...Did she take a video?
zinc55 0
lol thats a keepa.
imago_fml 0
*laughs* Next time (if you didn't dump her stupid ass.) start licking her clit and then when she's really in to it smack her on it as hard as you can. She'll never have sex with you, but while she's writhing around tell her that wedgies hurt.