Today, my coworker came over to my desk and told me that I should protect my Twitter updates, because I had unknowingly made them public. My tweets include drinking stories, all the men I've hooked up with, various cuss words, sexual innuendos, and how much I hate my coworkers. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, thanks to my asshole coworker and his obsession of posting pictures and tagging me in them on Facebook after I repeatedly told him not to, my wife found out about a party we had with colleagues only. I’m seen in several photos kissing my work bestie, who I hoped I’d keep under wraps until now. FML
Today, my co-worker, who used to be in a frat with me in college, decided to tell all my coworkers as well as my boss all the stupid things I did in college, starting with the time a girl stole my clothes and I had to walk across campus naked. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I'd just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML
Today, I found out that I drunkenly texted my boss yesterday asking for nude pictures. He sent them. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out for violating workplace privacy, after he found an FML post from last year that eerily resembled a situation that happened the same year. He thought I posted it and twisted things to make him look like an idiot. I've never posted here in my life. FML
Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML
Today, I found out that aside from being savagely overworked and treated like shit for zero pay, another one of my responsibilities as an intern is to take the blame for my boss accidentally posting a link to a porn site on the company's Twitter account. FML
Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML
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Top comments
bexox 0
Yeah that's why you don't post shit like that online...
iKaite 0
You deserve it for believing you could get away with it. Twitter is a viscious website that people, anyone, can look at. You totally and one hundred percent de-*******-serve it.
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Comments (159)
DarthJeff 0
Sounds like someone I want to follow.
SpliffyMcBlunt 0
First!
SP63_fml 0
EPIC FAIL. I seriously have never seen such a fail.
alex_vik 1
YDI for having a Twitter.
shnibz101 0
Men you have hooked up with?
FarSide 23
Well, it's happened and nothing can be done about it. I trust the two lessons learned are 1) never commit anything to writing that you do not want everyone to see.... whether it is twitter, email, or paper. If there is not evidence, it never happened, it cannot be proved. Note: email, twitter, word processing documents can easily be retrieved after deletion. The second lesson: stop your prideful boasting about being disgruntled employee and a drunk, *****, **** bitch. No man wants to spend a life with you... just a quick screw and then shower. Turn yourself around.
FYL_FML_23 0
You deserve it! Why would you post that type of info online?
freddie_fml 0
If you don't want people to know things, don't post them on the Internet. Shit is never private on the Internet, no matter what you may think.
darkmis1 18
YDI. once you put something online, its there forever. everyone knows that.
drano 0
YDI for using twitter
uguysareidiots 0
YDI for having a twitter. 'nuff said.