Today, I could hear my parents having sex from the other end of my house. My mom set the stove on fire because she forgot she was cooking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, my wife and I had a huge fight that ended with her taking my son and going to her mother's. What happened? I caught him playing with the knobs on the GAS STOVE for the third time and spanked him for it. He's been told not to play with those many times already, and I'm scared he's gonna start a fire. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
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Top comments
jkjorn 18
That sounds hot.
RichardPencil 32
She was doing a different kind of cooking. ;)
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Comments (4)
jkjorn 18
That sounds hot.
RichardPencil 32
Stove fires usually are.
John Nemeth 14
Dammit what was that Kings of Leon song called? I think it’s “your stove is on fire” P.S. hope everyone was ok.
RichardPencil 32
She was doing a different kind of cooking. ;)
Sady_Ct 38
You couldn’t have managed the stove? You would have smelt the burning long before the fire.
kfchicken 31
obviously he did handle it, and not necessarily, but that's not the point of the fml anyway
Kraths 16
Not everyone has a super sniffer. Half the time I can't smell jack and when I do it's usually so faint I am not sure what it is or where it's coming from