Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML
Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, at the ripe age of 29, I pooped my pants. It was a little diarrhea and I had expected it to be a fart, so I quickly had to grab my shorts, waddling to the bathroom, commando. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
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Top comments
pikachurro 18
Didn't you know squats make your booty nicer? The wasp just wanted a piece, you can't blame him.
Cassandra2015 21
Sounds like mom deserves a glass of wine after those misfortunes !
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Comments (60)
disbatch 14
If I come to MS, I will take the full time shit cleaning job. I will need a roof, bed, and food. My life is ******.
Silk_Routes 14
what a poopy-shitty situation
ryanthecheeseguy 18
I opened up the comments on this one looking for that inevitable comment
gosh_mate 30
Wasps are evil!! I hope your leg is okay :)
sturschaedel 27
Don't let your partner bring you a rose, it might worsen your day.
jezka374 15
The super mom award goes to OP! I'd of broke under pressure there!
CyberSeeker 20
Hope you aren't allergic
worldclassrager 41
It seems like wasps are having some bad days...the rose incident and now this...
JustinJK 21
I would have stung you in the booty top ;););)
JustinJK 21
too* edit function wasn't working
Fgjvshnb 22
Don't bees die when they sting?
sturschaedel 27
Bees do, wasps don't. Learn the difference.
littleking94 14
#26 sorry your simple question got a douche answer. Bee's do die when they sting cause they lose there stinger. Wasp on the other hand don't have stingers and bite instead.
sturschaedel 27
Wasps don't bite, they do have stingers, but, opposed to bees, their stingers aren't retroserrate so they don't get stuck in the skin and they can use it over and over again. Also I didn't try to be a douche, but it bugs me to no end when people mix up calm, non-aggressive, honey-collecting bees with aggressive wasps that go after everything from shit to food. It leads to bees getting killed by clueless people and agriculture facing serious problems because they need bees to pollinate their plants.
rockwrench 18
Very true statement 42. Having a large garden, I've noticed a decline of honey bees. They get the royal treatment around here. Most likely OP got nailed by a wasp. Like you said, they will get you more than once.
littleking94 14
Haha, #42 get a life
countryb_cth 38
@42 actually wasps do bite. I was at an amusement park one summer and a wasp flew into my hair. When I ran my hand through my hair the wasp bit me. The only reason I know for sure that it bit me was the wasp was still latched onto my hand and I had to fling it off.
rockwrench 18
Your a great mom for taking the hit instead of your child. Bee careful.