Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my friend to come sit next to me in class. I pulled out the chair next to me. Coincidentally, she started to sit at that same moment. Now both she and my teacher are convinced I did it on purpose, and they want to have a talk with my parents. FML
Today, as I was getting ready to go to class, I accidentally stepped in dog poop. I was in a hurry, so I scraped it off as best as I could. When I go to class, I noticed it smelled. The girl behind me noticed and said, "Mmmmm, smells like food in here." FML
Today, while in class, I noticed that someone had really bad B.O. I was seated next to an extremely ill-mannered girl, so I figured it was her, and thought to myself that if it happened again, I'd tell her off. Once I got home and took off my jacket, I realized it was me. I forgot to put on deodorant. FML
Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked, "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being a smart ass said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk… and me. FML
Today, a woman who badly needed to change her incontinence pad sat next to me on the bus. I could smell it through my mask. FML
Today, I was teaching when I saw a student leave her chair and brazenly head for the door. I clapped her on the shoulder and said, "Going somewhere, miss?" She vomited all over my pants. FML
Today, I was in class and I smelled what I thought was month-old trash coming from a student in front of me. I politely ignored the smell, only to realize a few hours later that the persistent smell wasn't coming from every student in my university, but was from my shoes. FML
Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
"oh i'm sorry! that seat is actually reserved for someone who doesn't smell like ass. i see a seat in the back corner perfect for you."
Karma_apoc 8
Yes, I know what it's like to smell horrible. She could either not use deoderant or have what I have, hyper hydrosis. With it you sweat no matter WHAT, even with clinical strength deods, pills, powders, everything. Even the surgery to suck out the extra sweat glands rarely works. Teens who go through it like me have a horrible time.
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Comments (112)
Karma_apoc 8
Yes, I know what it's like to smell horrible. She could either not use deoderant or have what I have, hyper hydrosis. With it you sweat no matter WHAT, even with clinical strength deods, pills, powders, everything. Even the surgery to suck out the extra sweat glands rarely works. Teens who go through it like me have a horrible time.
rahavan 15
I had a friend with that so I can sympathize with you. Perhaps this person just needs to shower more often it helps a lot (it helped my friend anyway). OP you'll get use to the smell trust me I'm speaking from personal experience.
downtime 13
Except in a lot of cases it only occurs during the teenage years and then is all but gone in adulthood, eliminating the need for the invasive - not to mention painful - surgery.
WoahNicolee 0
Use maxim. im serious it works. its $20 on amazon with shipping. But its worth it, its the ONLY thing that works for me. i thought nothing was gunna help.
leadman1989 16
It might have been her time of the month god knows that can get bad.
cptmorgan6 8
The price people pay for being nice....
desireev 18
Karma is a bitch! But it can also be rewarding. Your kindness will pay off soon.
Peach3 1
Sounds like a fortune cookie.
AndysFancy 6
I'm glad to see you're feeling better today, desireev. Your comment matches your adorable smile.....without all those STFUs from the earlier FML this week!! Lol :)
somerandomdude19 2
#26... Stalker much?
flockz 20
you can put your pants back on Andy.
AndysFancy 6
I'm a 41 year old mother of two....and Andy's wife, dipshits. Get it? Andy's fancy? I bitched her out for ranting on a previous FML and was trying to be nice... Thank you for your input all the same.
AndysFancy 6
Forget it. You are all such assholes anyway.
flockz 20
well mrs. andy, i'd like to say Welcome to the internet, here let me be your guide. on the internet you can't say shit like that^ because on the internet you could be an innocent mother of two OR you could be a 54 year old man in his mom's basement who jerks to animal ****. and the weird thing about the internet is that no one can tell which one you are. so if you compliment someone like you did, it just sounds like you're a little ******* creepy. and if you insist on keep writing messages like that, then use the Private Message system alright? stop being creepy, but i'm still going to be an asshole.
VoteForTaco 8
-51 Well that's not verry nice.
slushpup9696 12
The AndysFancy approach to the Internet. "Everyone thumbs me down? WELL WHATEVER EVERYONE EXCEPT FOR ME IS AN ASSHOLE."
borkchop1992 15
this is why i dont let my mom stalk what im doing on the internet
TJD28 3
u go girl... wait nevermind your a bitch
graham11 14
26- holy shit! We've got a *removes sunglasses* stalker up in here, bitches!!
desireev 18
Thank you AndysFancy! I appreciate that! I'm sorry that your nice comment started a cyber-war.. But I appreciate the comment. Once again, thank you! Very much appreciated!
desireev 18
Peach3- I didn't realize it did until after I posted it.. But I noticed that it sounded like a fortune cookie as well.. Lol :)
periwinkle95 10
What is a mother of 2 and a married woman doing on FML?
AnagenisisZagus 13
^ ....Reading FMLs?
graham11 14
103- reading tweets.. Oh wait this is FML. *face palm*
TraceCase_ 19
Guess you know for next time, OP! Keep the conversation light, so you don't accidentally make a smelly new friend. Announcing your non-smelliness to the rest of the class could also work in your favor. Nice move.
GiGem012 0
Your stupid ..????
SomeBossOnHere 5
Hey idiot, "you're", as in you're an idiot...
thelifeofbritni 0
^ I was just about to point that out as well.
xSonic 9
I thought I smelled good today.... :(
samaroo0 0
Well you were being nice so just try to ignore the smell :)
metalflower00 11
Oh smelly people are the worst...
graham11 14
72- life... Just kidding, that was harsh.
21jason 9
Christmas is coming.. Give her the gift of deodorant
CuteDumBlonde64 11
I bet my left Tit that she smelled like fish. Ewwwww! :(
somerandomdude19 2
Say goodbye to that tit...