Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, at the ripe age of 29, I pooped my pants. It was a little diarrhea and I had expected it to be a fart, so I quickly had to grab my shorts, waddling to the bathroom, commando. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML
Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML
Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML
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Top comments
chop_buster 0
Hahaha, I'm an annoying twerp and shit.
hk_fml 9
LOL xD the wording of this makes it even better.
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Comments (234)
rawr_ima_bear 0
thats y i dont read while ********:)
anything_els 0
where was your underwear?
ScaryyMary 14
At least the shit only hit the floor, not the fan.
boyob76 0
Seriously, who uses the word dung? How did the Amish find out about FML?
ScaryyMary 14
Maybe he wanted to use a more appropriate word than "shit". Get over it.
ChelseaSS 0
funniest thing ive heard all day seriously though... keep some magazines by the toilet
dazzleme 2
Finally, a solid fml
Honda288 2
Haha #31 that's exactly what I do, read the airfreshener can.
FarSide 23
So sorry about your experience. Usually, good toilet training prepares the rest of us on how to avoid this mishap.
rezinator2115 0
wow, this is absolutely great! What I want to know is who are the thousand plus idiots who says this guy deserved it? This is the first true FML that I have seen for a while.
rocker_girl_45 0
pretty sure u just laughed till I shut! that sucks tho sorry