Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after watching my roommate and her boyfriend be all lovey dovey for months, I now have to watch two of our other friends flirting as well. I'm painfully single and have been struggling to change that for years. FML
Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML
Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML
Today, after months of searching, I finally found a flat that is affordable and with amazing flatmates. The catch? I'm developing feelings for one of them. My heart sinks when they have a date over. I'm also in a relationship. The situation is eating me up inside. I hate that I'll have to go. Cupid, go f*ck yourself. FML
Today, I just found out that my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend are rooming together at college. Visits are going to be extremely awkward. FML
Today, after a great double date with my best friend and two really hot guys, we went back to my place. My friend and I left the guys in the living room to go grab some more wine. When we came back, we found our dates making out with each other on the couch. FML
Today, I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and things were getting heated when he got a call from one of his mates wanting to play Counter Strike. Next thing I know, I'm laying in bed by myself listening to him rage. FML
Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML
Today, my flat has turned into a pigsty. My flatmate decided to make the lounge his bedroom and it looks like a bomb has hit it. I haven’t been able to sleep, as he doesn’t sleep at night and talks to friends all night long or plays loud music. FML
Today, I can't any peace and quiet in any room of my flat. The neighbours on one side are arguing, the other side are having very loud sex, the ones upstairs I suspect are playing some sort of games console, and downstairs daughter has been practising her violin badly all morning. FML
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Top comments
BBeffedmylife 28
I think now would be a good time to go out for a stroll or a cup of coffee..
Nolimit2217 32
Better go get a hobby.
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Comments (59)
ald92 6
I'm going on 2 and a half years no girlfriend and a dry dick. This comment should make you feel good about yourself
Terrynics 8
get yourself out there and find someone!
cathrope 10
Going on 35 years with no girlfriend.
morgasshk 14
You sure as hell ain't going to get laid moping around at home. Go out to a bar or club, lol, a bingo hall even?
deejoy 22
Well you're not going to find a date hanging around listening to your roommates get busy! :p
FML_14u2c 14
It sounds like Chrissy and Jack are getting it on with their significant others... Janet, what will you do?
orangeink25 3
Come on. Let us have a moment of silence for this brave, brave man.
stewpididiot 11
Run out & pull the fire alarm !!!
inz002 6
Time to get out or blast the heck out of the place with some high volume power metal.
sk8rdud3 24
May I recommend World of Warcraft?