Today, it was my first day at Military School. Our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood, which the commander wasted no time in addressing in front of the rest of the room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML
Today, on my first full day on Marine Corps boot camp, my drill instructor pulled me and another kid in front of 200 other recruits to vote on who was uglier between the two of us. I won. FML
Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML
Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML
Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML
Today, I went commando for the first time at school. It went really well until gym class, when I got distracted and changed like I normally do. I didn’t realize my mistake until my friends started laughing. I accidentally stripped in front of my whole class. FML
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
Today, it was the first day of school, and I split my pants. In a full class. While on a stage. I'm the teacher, and I wasn't wearing underwear. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML
Today, it's my first day of high school. It's also my first day of a three-day in-school suspension. The reason? I sat next to a girl and she immediately got up and told the teacher that she didn't "feel safe". FML
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Top comments
PositiveChillout 0
"We're in the military son! You better not be firing blanks!"
deathmajestic 0
well at least ALL of you was standing at attention
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Comments (145)
orangeandblu 0
haha.. I guess he was kind of HARD on u.... haha
newmandotcom 6
You think military SCHOOL is hard? Try the actual Military. And not the weak army or navy shit. Semper fi.
OctoberRainfall 13
I know people have to be strict in the military, but that's a bit too harsh if you ask me. We're all humans, it's not like you could help it.
Lightcrusade 9
Tuck that shit haha
emmagillespie24 11
Wait- I actually don't know what morning wood is... Explain it?
furubafan74 18
It's when a guy wakes up aroused.
charliewetsidege 2
you should of cocked your gun cause that's the only **** you got!
velvetwings 8
Um...it may be military, but it's still a school. If the school consists of teenagers, they still teach normal academic subjects on top of the pre-military training. Why wouldn't a modern school have computers?
earthday18 7
what were you dreaming of private
invisibleman96 4
dude, been there. gotta tuck it under the waistband. personally, I wear spandex underwear, so you can point it straight down and no one will notice.
slothstronaught 11
"I'm just standing at full attention sir"!