Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently, her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me, because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother, who didn't bother telling her who I was, because he "wanted to see what she would do." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
Today, my sister told me her ex-boyfriend abused her and I went to go confront him. Turns out, she lied because he dumped her after she cheated on him. I got my ass kicked. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
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Top comments
cthulhu1138 1
I hope you slapped that bitch into next week.
Jewelofagal 2
Your brother sure hasn't any family loyalty does he? A great brother would break up with a girlfriend who hit his sister.
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Comments (91)
sockpuppets 1
I would have said you were his wife.. Considering you both have the same last name.. Totally **** up his relationship
Boomi 39
Bwahahaha, that is evil! I love you for that!
worldclassrager 41
Well now he knows...now to reveal the secret...did you comment that I'm his sister?
fantasyworld 39
Some brother.
cats54321 19
Ur brother is an asshole
scottishoatmeal 22
I hope you punched your brother in the face and left him with a big purple bruise