Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking Gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was running late for my morning gym class. I grabbed a near-empty drink bottle on my way out, intending to fill it up at the gym. Mid-workout, I reached for my bottle and took a big mouthful as I headed over to fill it up. To my great surprise, it was not water but straight vodka. FML
Today, I was hanging with my friends when out of the blue, I got thirsty. Friends said there was Gatorade in the fridge. Being the trusting person I am, I took a drink, only to discover it was piss. FML
Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML
Today, I made a protein shake at the gym. I somehow didn't screw the lid on tight enough, so when I took one huge gulp, the shake exploded all over my face, shirt, and the gym mirror. Now I look like I lost a fight with a chocolate milkshake. FML
Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML
Today, at my son's soccer game, I tried to give him a bottle of Gatorade, but the top was damp with condensation and I couldn't get a grip. I wiped it dry and tried again, successfully this time. No big deal, except my wife was watching and screamed, "IT SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG!" Everyone stopped and stared. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML
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Top comments
cayytee 0
and im eating spiderwebs to turn into spiderman.
kooochris1995 14
I'm eating honey nut Cheerios because they're good.
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Comments (250)
Shearertn1 0
And we wonder why other countries think Americans are stupid...
gracehi 33
Because there has NEVER been a display of stupidity from another country on FML?
t765234 10
Because the ignorant morons of other countries like to pick on the ignorant morons of our country?
downtime 13
...Because when all you ever see coming out of a country is stupidity you will assume that it's generally the way people are there. Much like any other stereotype you see...Perspective and all that?
thehotchic 1
Sounds like you got a smart friend there....
vocaloidtiger 12
If she's already that crazy, I can only imagine that an energy drink would make it much, much worse.
vcapelo 19
Only in America!
gracehi 33
I really hope you're smart enough not to hang out with that girl anymore, not because she's stupid, but because she assaulted you.
uumlaut_strohson 3
somewhere there's a village missing an idiot
shots1996 8
Dude of Gatorade would give you an athletic body just by drinking it. I would look like freakin John Cena.
KiddNYC1O 22
Eat enough spinach you'd look like Popeye the Sailor man aka The Situation.
brianjman14 23
My dad works for Pepsi. Trust me when I say only drinking Gatorade works. ;)
couturedoll 7
Well, that's still a little harsh to hurl a Gatorade bottle at you...
t765234 10
You might want to inform her that gatorade is terrible for you and will probably make you fat if it's all you drink.
quontag 15
You might want to know that there is no fat in Gatorade.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
There doesn't need to be fat in something for it to make you fat.