Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML
Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML
Today, my Nana asked me to get her a book from her nightstand, but failed to specify which nightstand was hers. I stumbled across my grandparents' collection of sex toys instead. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Leeono 26
Talk about a buzz kill.
Sinshine 28
That's just rude of her. At least call before inviting yourself over. And ******* ring the doorbell instead of just walking into a place you don't own.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (15)
Chazzster 32
And this is just one of the reasons you do not give anyone who does not live with you keys to the home.
xaioque 1
Had a similar experience. Been getting back pain so decided to change mattresses. Went all out and saved for 2 months to get the temperpedic adjustable setup. On the delivery night as soon as i just assembled everything a friend came to visit and as i returned from the kitchen getting tea, found him sound asleep on my bed. Had to sleep on the floor FML.