Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML
Today, what started as an amazing day with hiking, a picnic, more hiking, then a romantic nature walk, ended in a ridiculous screaming match between me and my boyfriend. I only asked him to shower before laying in our bed when we got home, since we were covered in sweat, bug bites and dirt. FML
Today, my new boyfriend is such a city boy he couldn’t handle one night of pretend camping in the garden. Apparently, it was too cold, he ran out of Diet Coke, and just generally got bored, so he went back inside to watch TV in bed, but sure, he wants to hike in the mountains with me. FML
Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went on a Snowshoeing date. I felt sick and suggested we turn back. He said I could wait in the car and continued on the date alone. He was gone for hours, while I was stuck alone in a national park with no cell reception, food, or water. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML
Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML
Today, I walked 30 minutes with my new boyfriend from my chalet to the local supermarket, cutting through the woods. It was dark, but the moon shone bright and we had torches. He was so scared, he startled at every noise and even cried. When we got to town, he dumped me, and left on the next train. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Then a nearby game of hide and seek breaks out, adding to the confusion when the seeker shouts, "ready or not, here I come!"
Weymere 11
That sounds like a rocky start to a good time
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Comments (43)
Phatburger 4
try a desert next time
sherri_baby88 36
And get sand in her nether regions besides what would probably be another lackluster romp? OP should take a hard pass, thanks.
cootiequeen4444 11
I feel it would be easier to hide in a rock formation than a desert. lots of flat barren land in deserts.
hilamonster06 21
Their is no such thing as premature ejaculation, when it's time it's time.
SpyroMello 29
OP, you're lucky you can even get him to finish. My boyfriend gets anxious about someone coming home that he can't finish and sometimes he refuses to even have sex.
chosha_fml 27
#19 Which makes me wonder if he actually came so quickly because he was excited about the outdoor sex, not paranoid.
LiamColee 13
my thoughts while reading this: ok, shes talking about sex - nope just some quality outdoor fun - nope, it was sex - poor dude - i should right a comment about my thoughts.
ABlindMan 17
Or save everyone the hassle of having to downvote your comment into oblivion and maybe don't post your thoughts as you read the FML? It's a comment section, not a thought transcribing section.
Tsukiyomi 16
Sucks to be you Sucks to be him **** your life **** his life Ahahahahahahahaha your misfortune is like love to me
amadmanwithabox 4
being paranoid would do the opposite to me
tylance 3
gosh. i would have taken my sweet ass time. i try to get my wife to do things like this, but no go. very sad
tntscl 4
Best 20 seconds of your life
Love_L0ST 13
I have never had the pleasure of knowing what it feels like to finish so fast any new relationships I have I get to nervous my very first time was 5 hours and I still didn't finish
Alucard205 13
Complete bullshit
JDonly 8
20 seconds? Braggart.