Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML
Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his taser at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tased him for acting aggressively. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend found the airtag I'd stuck under her car. The police were called and she kicked me out of her apartment. FML
Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
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Top comments
phatdaddy 0
YDI for robbing your girlfriend. Don't you know she has a taser?
eldiablo2196 0
y would she do that
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Comments (156)
jay4who7 0
hahahaha yes u win :)
Lythiaren 8
Don't tase me bro!
jay4who7 0
lol ohhh shit my money is on schwancy
YourEvilHero 12
this deserves an lol
heyyyyyyyyyyyy 0
srsly u fukin fegs getin on peicemacers nuts bout shiy made me cri o pick on ppl ur own aje grew up!!!!!!!!!!!!!$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $get monii$
FML_DCED 0
why's she out of the kitchen?
lausarndon 0
YDI for buying her a taser and doing whatever you did to make her tase you.
phatdaddy 0
YDI for robbing your girlfriend. Don't you know she has a taser?
silverFML 0
ha so u break up with her
guitardedman 0
YDI for 1st arming a dumb **** with a taser 2nd, for trusting a dumb ho 3rd. FOR BUYING A ******* GIRL A TASER! Thats like giving dynamite to a ****** child! what did you expect