Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was carrying a bowl of cereal to the couch when my cat ran between my feet. I somehow saved every drop of milk but launched the cereal across the room. My cat immediately ate the cereal off of the floor and then walked away looking like he had planned it. FML
Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML
Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML
Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML
Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
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Top comments
junkinmahcranium 0
Be gentle with cats. You piss em off, you suffer. It's a way of life.
umbilicalbiotch 0
Im sorry for your loss. Every bowl counts
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Comments (106)
stillbroken 5
The way you worded that... brilliant. I laughed.
crazycrystal 4
I hate cats digs r better !
alexicanaaa 7
Cats. Absolute butts.
mizzy1 0
That is exactly why I am a dog person my puppy would love it if that happened to him lol get well soon!
sigrak0 10
We don't really care how they heal up, YDI.
mirthfulMessiahs 21
Must have been some serious injuries if he hasn't come back to say he's healed up, almost four years later.
nick3600 22
How does that happen
m4green 3
CATS. ARE. DICKS
people_annoy_me 23
THIS is why I'm never getting a cat
ilikebeingchoked 5
..this is too fricken hilarious