Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my foreman complained that I was slowing down productivity and costing the company money, all because I was wearing a harness to protect me from falling over the edge of a three story building. FML
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
Today, my boss watched me get my waistband hooked on a safety hazard in the warehouse. She included it in the safety report. FML
Today, I was thrown from a horse. Thankfully, there was a trainer there to break my fall and prevent serious injury. Instead of being concerned for my safety or even grateful, my boyfriend flew into a rage that the trainer’s hands had brushed my breasts while saving me. FML
Today, while entering in my college building, I noticed that my right shoelace was untied and I tied it. I didn't realize that just in front of me was a metal beam until I hit my head hard on it and a loud, reverberating sound was produced. Many people saw what happened. FML
Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML
Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML
Today, I was lifting weights at the gym and felt proud of myself for pushing through a tough set. Then, I looked down and noticed my shorts had ripped right along the seam. Based on their disgusted faces, everyone behind me got an unwelcome show. FML
Today, I nearly lost a hand at work, because a supervisor decided to remove a 'useless' safety guard on a machine despite my warnings. He doesn't understand why I'm so upset with him. FML
Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
IchimaruGin 5
Well, now you know to always wear your safety harness correctly.
br0ccoli 15
His penis must have hit the emergency ejection button before impact. "mayday, mayday, we are going down..."
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
jaredofmo 22
... Yike. I am never going to put myself in a position to wear one of those, then...
wlddog 14
If you never have to,,, don't.
reddudeover 2
When all else fails just do the safety dance. In fact let's all do the safety dance. :D *Grabs doc, gets punched, kicked repeatedly by everyone else. Et tu noor?
thecovert 7
This is an FML but NOT for the OP.
Ugi 27
I don't' know whether anyone else is getting this but the context-aware adverts on this page are displaying a range of attractive safety harnesses for me to purchase. Somehow I don't think they'll get many orders from those who have just read this FML!
spekledworf 18
A man across the street from me died from not having a correct setup while cutting a tree in his yard. It was not fun trying to comfort his 10 year old daughter who just saw her dead father in a tree.
skyeyez9 25
Did your school ever show you the STD videos in sex ed class? One guys penis looks like a head of cauliflower....not sure what disease turns your junk into a vegetable though...warts? Gah
babyshaft408 8
Ouchies
forever_born 6
Ouuuuuuccccchhhhh musta hurt
shrdlu 28
I am 100% sure the OP will never wear a safety harness incorrectly, nor will any of the men in that class. This may be "shock tactics" but it's more effective than just a vague warning tag on the harness.
digitaljunky 5
I used to work in a bakery, and saw the head baker accidentaly walk into the corner of a table and sever his man parts! Who knew life could be so hazardous to our man parts :S