Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the bank to get her new ATM card. As the bank teller gave her the card, he said that the PIN remained the same. Indignant, she cried out, "How do you possibly know my PIN code?" She's 27. FML
Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML
Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML
Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML
Today, my daughter was unable to take the SAT. They wouldn’t let her in, because, “no one told her she would need two forms of ID.” To be fair, she would have gotten a terrible score anyway, if she’s really that dumb. FML
Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Today, my sister and I look enough alike she was able to steal my ID to go and get a tattoo at 15 years-old. Our mom is furious and also blames me, as though I willingly let her use my ID. FML
Today, as part of my becoming an adult, my dad taught me how to use an ATM. The irrational anger I suddenly felt when he told me to "Enter your PIN number into the ATM machine" is too much to be described here. FML
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
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Top comments
MyPupRox 2
shes a keeper, dont worry, theres always clown university ;)
ilovefall10 21
Am I the only one who feels sorry for the daughter? I mean , maybe she wasn't paying attention or maybe she spaced out a little. I think her mother saying ' I raised a nitwit' is a bit harsh. She's your frigging daughter woman.
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Comments (205)
LizzJizz 16
I never pay attention at banks...i'm too busy stareing & laughing to myself at all the people i see because sometimes there's really awkward ones :D so if i was ur daughter....i'd have probably said the same thing...but thats just me heheh & my own obliviousness
emilemon 0
maybe she just forgot that he gave the person her birth certificate. It can happen to anyone.
mlb58 0
She better be cute or Life's gonna suck for her.
mlb58 0
The apple didn't fall far from the tree.
magicrock 8
she just had 1 of those moments... I'm sure everyone has had 1 of those some point in their life
griffindragon97 3
let me guess she's a blond
Jazzalyn 10
I think #43 has a point. We all say/do stupid things. It doesn't make a person stupid (unless, of course, they already are.) I've said things that have made completely no sense or are just really stupid and then I'm like "Wait...what? Did I really say that?"
darkness4dummies 0
maybe she didnt have time to get a gift my best friend hasnt given me my birthday gift yet and my birthday was in december
howslife123 0
ummm...
brianjman14 23
Wrong FML, nitwit.
howslife123 0
wow I got thumbed down
adam797 0
ummmmm my birthdays in January what does it matter
mintcar 10
She was probably just having one those days. There've been times where I've made stupid comments and have done stupid things. Nice to know you can say something so terrible about your own daughter.
kc1997kc 9
When did saying nitwit become saying something terrible?
mintcar 10
"Nitwit" alone isn't too terrible. Saying that about your own kid and actually meaning it, is what's terrible. Chances are, the daughter was not even paying attention.
kc1997kc 9
I doubt the woman meant it, this is FML. A lot of people write them to blow off steam. Even if she did mean it nitwit is not really mean compared to some of the stuff parents say about their kids.
dhsgirl 0
hahaha that is me written all over it
themanuel08 0
lol