Today, my roommate was complaining about a headache, so I offered her some aspirin. She looked at me like I was stupid and said, "Uh… That stuff's only for heart attacks." I'm living with an idiot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML
Today, I had a massive, pounding headache. I asked my mom for some painkillers and she said, "No. You don’t deserve pain relief. Ever. For anything." What? FML
Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that taking triple the maximum dosage of painkillers won't actually triple its effects. She rolled her eyes, called me clueless, and said that I should "leave this stuff to the professionals." She's studying to become a doctor. FML
Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML
Today, the medicine I keep at my desk for headaches is now gone thanks to my coworker who took the last 6 Advil at once. Her reasoning? "You're thin, so you wouldn't need them anyway. I'm twice your size, so I needed twice the dose." FML
Today, I had a headache when I woke up for school. I had final exams that day, so I took what I thought were 2 advils. They were two sleeping pills. FML
Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub when she started to breathe heavily. I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck. She then turned around and said, "Tell my roommate I'm having an asthma attack." FML
Today, I complained to my parents about chest pains. My mom said, "For fuck’s sake, it’s our day off. Can we just have ONE day without your drama?" Turns out, I was actually having a heart attack. She still won’t apologize, and is in fact mad at me for having a heart attack on her day off. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
**** your life and **** the life of whoever has a heart attack in her presence. "I took your phone away 'cause you don't need a damn ambulance. Now take the pills!"
rivenrock 14
People sometimes take a low dose of aspirin daily to help prevent heart attack. But yeah, obviously it's for headache and other pain, too.
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Comments (14)
jcash52426 5
Tell her to drill a hole in the head like the used to do in the old days.
BeachMammal 8
I hope she's not allowed out of the house on her own.
ThrottleJockey 36
Psh, aspirin for headaches and heart attacks. Everyone knows you take two Percocet with a shot of Everclear.
ReineRien 5
At some point i thought i was having a heart attack, a medical personnel gave me an aspirin to chew (he emphasized to chew, it was disgusting) as a precaution, until i got to the hospital. She wasn't entirely wrong.. but she was wrong about the 'only' part.
Nikki 17
We do the same, it’s dissolvable aspirin but gets to the blood stream quicker if chewed, and yes it’s not nice