Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversely impacting morale". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got written up at work over false accusations that I didn't do some safety tasks. The same tasks that were done before I had even arrived. FML
Today, I arrived at work and was immediately given a disciplinary write-up for being two hours late for my shift. Apparently the manager had changed my schedule that morning and failed to tell me. FML
Today, I went to my retail job to buy some clothing. As soon as I walked through the doors, my manager yelled at me for not being in appropriate work clothes. I tried to explain that I was off the clock but he was having none of it. I got written up. FML
Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML
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Top comments
Major_Whupass 3
How's the weather Ollie? It's raining sideways!
lilhellian 27
congress
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Comments (82)
Major_Whupass 3
How's the weather Ollie? It's raining sideways!
gc327072 31
Sounds tough, would you like anything? SOUP! Ok, what kind? CHUNKY!
AH1Zviper 15
And now for traffic. Whats the traffic look like Ollie? EVERYBODY LOOKS LIKE ANTS!!!
Futacy 30
So you see? You don't have to be intelligent or talented to be successful, just look at OP's boss.
Hershey903 5
What are you doin to beat the heat Ollie? SWIMMIN' HOLE!!
EnigmaThe321 12
Hmm, thread jacking again are we?
Tdrizzzzzly 19
What's the weather looking like later Ollie? IT'S GON' RAIN!!
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
And here to give us a first look at the planes landing is Ollie Williams, Ollie? I'M AT THE WRONG AIRPORT!
thefreelove 9
Marijuana is now legal.. It's lee-legal. How's the weather looking Ollie? "Not too bad.."
krad204 21
Your boss is a complete idiot.
biggestfan23 11
And yet he is a boss. What a world we live in
HowAreYouToday 34
Your boss is a *sadistic genius
PipingMouse 14
No, no variation of this comment is correct. OP's boss is a complete idiot. No if,ands, or buts about it lol :P
Carmstro 13
Or, the boss was making his own prediction- that OP was GOING to provide false information. Maybe the boss just saved the world. That or yes, he's dumb.
yorkiebar93 9
IiiiiííííiíiiiIiíIiiiiiiiiiiii
FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29
It's how it usually happens.
KrazieKleo 13
Sometimes I question people who are in charge. Is he missing a chromosome or two??
domking1315 20
We might be hitting three at this level...
McNerdyNerd 8
Actually..if you are both trying to be dicks and make fun of mentally challenged people...that would be one EXTRA chromosome..so...good luck with that insulting.
JellyBalls 18
^ Yes we all hate "Mentally Retarded" people. But did anyone else see sarcasm fly by while reading the comment above?
Crazynopantsman 11
Does he not know the definition of prediction?
brandon3747 16
Wow now that's stupid
wyattshack 4
I like your username op :D
enchi999 8
Thank you for your comment related to the FML post.
hatesfate 6
Thank you for your comment in relation to a comment in relation to an FML post
MissMae93 23
13 - Thank you for making yourself look like a total ass.
dominic1221 6
Sorry OP, I had sympathy for you but your username robbed me of it all.
Metallica36176 16
Why?
secretsymbiote21 5
maybe he should just watch the news to avoid problems.
KalCountry76 12
It's not your fault. Your boss obviously lacks a functioning brain.
unicornoats 5
What a TARD!
florido_fml 10
Do better!
lacespace 8
Ya! Way to be a dumbass. Clearly if the weatherman himself can't 100% predict it and your boss can't look it up his damn self you're a complete moron for not being correct. Fool.
idealTHC 7
Wow i cant belive a jesus freak would tell someone to kill themselfs... What a world.