Today, finally we got our toddler daughter to sleep in her own bed. The wife and I were both excited to finally have our room to ourselves. Just as our daughter was about to fall asleep, the damn cat went into her room and loudly hacked up a huge hairball. Now she's back in mommy's and daddy's bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML
Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML
Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML
Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I was staying at a hotel and had a night terror. I woke up, yelled, "Fuck!" and realized I had shit the bed. I'd woken up my teenage daughter, who now knows I shit the bed in the middle night. FML
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Top comments
traci18 0
you should of put her right back in HER bed & let her there. if you tough it out a few nights she will learn that her bed is where she is SUPPOSED to be. all you are teaching her now is how to manipulate to get her own way.
Jimboom 12
You sure you or your wife is not just using that as an excuse? I mean sometimes one or both parents will overprotect the child and the child picks up on all that. If your nervous and worried about things all the time then the kid will mimic this and think that they too should be like that. Of course the kid could just be a little pussy. Tell her to get back to her bed or you will tell her of all the things out there that she should REALLY be afraid of. :-P
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Comments (77)
csf_lupita 0
ydi for having cats
rawrineedcandy 0
mom and dad fail
peterotic 0
that's what u get 4 havin a cat
rum_fml 0
**** cats
spearodude 0
kill the cat. end of dilemma.
iwouldliketocomm 0
how is this an fml? put her in her bed. and shit the door... if she's to big then get a crib until she learns
droplets 0
Here's an idea: put your foot down and tell your little girl that she has to be a big girl and sleep in her own bed. She'll keep sleeping in your bed for as long as YOU allow her to.
funnyguy2697 6
she is your daughter.....you should be happy that she wants to be with you
WorldsGhost 2
And that's why you need a dog, not a condemned feline.
smallbutdeadly42 0
My cat doesnt hack up hairballs...she sits there scratching her litter box