Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, as I crawled into bed and hid under my blanket, I was hit with a very strong and familiar smell. The smell of piss. My cat had peed all over my only blanket. Guess I'll sleep under the mattress. FML
Today, I washed the comforter one of my nine-month-old kittens peed on last night. Just as soon as my boyfriend put it on the bed, she peed on it again. FML
Today, I got a new mattress delivered to my house. Didn’t have it on the frame for more than 5 minutes before my cat had already pissed on it. FML
Today, as I was laying down to sleep, I grabbed my covers and realized the cat pissed on them and on my body pillow. Now I'm up at 1 a.m. doing laundry so I can have clean bedding and my kids are awake. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
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Top comments
j_cat187 20
And that's why cats are cockblocks.
pcentral 17
I don't need pets in my bed. I'm already animal enough
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Comments (145)
ieatcanteloupe 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Agh, that's terrible, YDI for convincing her.
taybabaylover 1
Kitty boxes may help..
MetalxSoldier 26
So you got cockblocked by a pussy huh. I know how hard that can be. Sorry op.
zandalee 20
Was your cat pissed off with you or jealous of your girlfriend? Cats can retaliate in the most obnoxious ways.
PlastikSeraph 2
DOGS = GODS. CATS = SCAT.
zandalee 20
Mum=mum Dad=dad ...I know. I am incredibly deep tonight...
XtraEzeee 8
Shouldn't DOGS=SGOD?
Codezlol 21
66- no
Sliver1991 26
They can be wonderfully delicious sometimes... Perhaps that is why I get hungry when I see a cat!
j_cat187 20
And that's why cats are cockblocks.
ALlamaOnFire 20
Not necessarily.
Dunvanation 4
Wtf type of a comment is that? ^^^ That's so boring??
zandalee 20
Perhaps she got zapped up into an alien spacecraft - and that was all she had time for... Maybe she decided to go get pissed...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
No, the aliens zapped the interesting out of her.
Slender_Man 6
So, what you're saying is, you can be **** blocked by a pussy? Sounds kinda ironic.
megaboo310 4
That's just mean!
theslimshadylp 6
Cats are dicks plain and simple.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Actually, cats are *******. :D
ydi_4_suking 20
So now pussy=dick?
zandalee 20
Strap-a-dick to me baby
citymayer 7
Not all of them. My cat isn't like that; my cat is weird though.. But my sister's cat is an asshole. I could wring that little bitch's neck.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Your cats not an asshole until it pisses in your lap while your petting it. Yes, it was personal experience...
Zoh_Aubrey 8
I love my cat but she's a bitch. I raised her much like owner.
megaboo310 4
A cat isn't a dick it is a cat... All though it might have and dick or possibly a pussy.
folfg0 12
I see what you did there #64! ;) For everyone else. Bitch is a female dog that's in heat. So a cat can't be a bitch because it's not a dog! As for op... That's why I tell everyone to get a dog. ~Riley Pool
falon142012 22
I think a bitch is just a female dog, in heat or not. lol
annie_nk 23
One reason why dogs are better. Once they're house trained, they rarely do their business in the house.
xNephilim 19
Yeah and if you litter or toilet train your cat, she won't do her business in the house either, unless she has no way of getting to the litter box or toilet.
zandalee 20
Or she/he is pissed off with you.
Grimmerie 31
Unless the cat gets territorial, or angry, or jealous, or frightened, or upset, or bored, or decides it likes a corner for peeing in, or the box is too clean or too dirty or smells wrong, or you don't follow the "one more litter box than the number of cats" rule ... Other than those reasons and a dozen others I'm probably forgetting, your cat will never pee outside its box once trained. Ever.
zandalee 20
Sounds like Rex needs some downtime, or a big hug. X
Grimmerie 31
If you can hug her without being mauled, I commend you!
xNephilim 19
Huh. I've never had those problems with my cat.
AlexaWuzHere 31
My cat was litter box trained within 2 days of getting him. The ONLY time he didn't use the litter box was when he got sick off of food and couldn't make it. My dogs, although they are trained to go outside, still leave messes on the floor far more often than my cat.
GabisayzRAWR 0
Umm actually dog do more in the house..... Cats know to go to a litter box where as you have to take the dog outside... :D
purplenerple8 6
And that's why dogs are better!
flutter4 7
Dogs are not better
bigtaytay 13
I second that. I don't trust cats, they're too unpredictable
JaykeXD 9
How ironic. Because of pussy, you won't get pussy. XD but seriously that sucks dude >.
jetsown08 21
Cockblocked by a pussy, funny how that works.
SpicyDuck 22
So typical. Couldn't just have one pussy in bed. Had to have them all
SqueakyChipmunk 22
This is why you don't let cats sleep in a place they've never been. THEY MARK THEIR TERRITORY AND THEIR PISS SMELLS LIKE LINDSEY LOHAN'S BREATH!!
Dallasluver19 14
Yeah. Cats and Lindsay Lohan = 2 bitches.
doodlecloud 27
Um, my cats have never done this. Some cats do (mostly unspayed ones) but not all of them do.
Vash_41288 10
Hey come on it doesn't smell that bad..... Cats urine smell that is..
xMidna 6
My two year old male tabby, who was only desexed twoish weeks ago has slept in my bed since he was 6 weeks and the only accident he ever had was the morning after we got him. He shat on my doona >.> and being a kitten who's just been brought into a new environment... Yeah... But he does like pissing in the dirty washing baskets, never clean washing thank god xP
LolFMLnot 10
92 that was a very interesting cat documentary next time write it somewhere else where everyone cares
alycion 39
Midna, cats will often piss in areas like that when they have a uti. Next time you are at the vets may not hurt to get it checked.
nado13579 12
Thank you for your wonderful story, 92.
pcentral 17
I don't need pets in my bed. I'm already animal enough
Agsnow 7
id like to chat with u
Teabubbles 8
Your profile picture says it all ;)
FeMaLes 4
You piss the bed too?
BioncaLuLu69 3
-71 He sure does :D! Then ***** his hands and throws it at the walls :)!!!!!
calilovergirl 4
I think i just threw up in my mouth a little. I'd rather have my cat next to me , then the conceded dude in this pic, who also apparently pisses himself.
pcentral 17
Dear 111: You should note that for a burn to work effectively, you really need to be able to use the correct spelling and grammar. Conceded?? Hmmm... *shakes head and walks away*
jeragonm 15
Ya bro! Talk about Beast Mode! Lol
AKGirlinSD 20
9, you might want to let 111 that you were joking and it was quite funny. People can't take a joke anymore lol.
akiahara 14
I see a "my cat from hell" candidate in the making.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I'm sorry, what? I was distracted by the boobies.
jetsown08 21
27- girls get distracted by boobs too?!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
**** yes. Well, I do.
assassinnya 3
Yep girls do as well :3
little_one 20
Hooray for boobies!
I_lost_the_game 25
I do!
curlyfry33 8
Cats are dicks, I got peed on by a cat twice in my sleep. And when it's a hot night and your marinating in pee for 7 hours you tend to get over their cuteness.
keylimecat87 3
What cuteness?
zandalee 20
10- jeez that sucks for you. Get a dog, or a fish.