Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML
Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML
Today, I asked my mom if I could go to a friend's birthday. She said no, claiming I had been to too many this year already. I'd only been to one. It was my own. FML
Today, my parents said they know I don't do drugs or drink because I have no friends to do drugs or drink with. They are right. FML
Today, I walked around town by myself for four hours because I was too ashamed to tell my parents that I have no friends willing to spend time with me. FML
Today, all of my friends bailed from the birthday party I was throwing myself. This was also after they had encouraged me for months to have one, knowing I'd never had my birthday celebrated before. FML
Today, it's again one of many times my mom dropped me off at the mall to hang out with friends. Since I have no friends, I shop by myself and always tell her I had "so much fun". FML
Today, I was in the car with my mom. We were discussing my brother, how he's been screwing up majorly lately and she blamed it on his friends. Then she turned to me and said, "It's a good thing you've never had any friends." FML
Today, I had to clean out my room because I was having a sleepover. Only, I've not been in here for months since I've spent every night in my mom's room because I'm too scared to sleep alone. FML
Today, I think the only reason my mom hosts my kid's birthday, and other parties at her huge house in the country, is so she can be a complete bitch to us on the day, and if we even sound annoyed, it's, "Well, this is my home, I don't have to open it to anyone." FML
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Top comments
Fuaaad1994 31
Throwing house parties sounds like so much fun, bunch of people trashing your house and you cleaning up after them...
molly471 22
You should prove her wrong
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Comments (65)
axfabxdisaster 25
Quality over quantity. The amount of your friends doesn't matter as long as all of you are trusting and faithful
daddysgirl243 21
now you should throw the biggest party imaginable. make project x look like a small party compared to yours
1dvs_bstd 41
Post it on social media and I guarantee you'd be fixing new windows, doors and hell, all your furniture the following days.
mds9986 24
I don't think OP cares as much about not having a lot of friends as he does his mom being stupid.
Arcanel 18
Think of the postives you get alone time. A lot of people have big families and their is always back round noise you never get to enjoy anything in peace believe me. Besides its quality over quantity I myself only have 4 but they are all reliable and loyal. So don't worry about it enjoy your alone time brother I envy it.
worldclassrager 41
Well you don't have to worry about cleaning up after one...and maybe attend one somewhere else sometime...
LegolasPrincess 10
I wouldn't take it so hard, friends can cause nothing but trouble if you give them free roam of your house
mustangbravo 27
Prove her wrong.
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Why don't you invite all of us over?
Brandi_Faith 34
I picture a lot of anxiety filled, socially awkward people, standing in corners on their phone talking to their cyber friends or communicating to the other fmlers in the room via their phones lol.
MrConcise 35
Please, if those comic con and anime expo nerds can pull it off, I'm pretty sure us FMLers can.
gottahandittome 2
"we'll be freakin at the freakers ball...ya'll"
Melina7492 2
Prove her wrong and invite every person over that you know. How do u like them apples mom.