Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML
Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my wife had a dream that I was in the bath with our newborn baby. In the dream, I threw the baby out like a football. She can't get the image out of her head and won't forgive me. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I was learning how to start having lucid dreams. She was convinced the only reason I could possibly want to have them was so I could cheat on her in my own dreams. FML
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Top comments
man_eating_bunny 18
Somebody's indecisive...
jenninator93 18
Just gonna say, yes FYL but YDI a little bit for staying in a relationship with a total psycho.
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Comments (74)
ezrajab 22
Sex and intimacy is a very important part when your significant other and you are ready
captainsmegma 12
Just explain to her that a **** will go off if it is not given the proper amount of attention.
mykeenblade 7
perfect XD Except then he'll be a greedy, sex obsessed pig again...:(
torrilupo 14
ydi because you should break up with her crazy ass.
SeriousJoker72 18
Sorry man but it sounds like it's time to go.... There are other fish in the sea. Sane fish....
Stuffaluffagus 25
Sounds like someone should find themselves a little more stable girlfriend. Maybe one that can act their age
keeks46 12
Break up with her
vixypixys 13
Bad craic, OP. I love when my husband has a wet dream! I want details then reenactment. Unless it's about someone else, then he can simmer down.
everlastingsnow_fml 14
how do you guys function as a couple? you should look for someone you're comfortable and happy with.
austinsixx94 6
Damn that sucks
bambam42069 13
Maybe you should get a better girlfriend