Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home early from work. My boyfriend and I live together. I open the door and I found my best friend watching TV on the couch, wearing lingerie. The room smelled like sex. She acted irrational and defensive, and had the audacity to ask what I was doing here. Bitch, I live here. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend used the sexy dance moves she asked me to teach her to get into my ex-boyfriend’s pants. We dated for two years and broke up less than a week ago. FML
Today, I found my girlfriend in bed with her gym trainer. They said they were doing cardio. FML
Today, I came home from work to hear loud moans coming from the room that my husband and I share. I barged in and both he and this girl are scrambling around the room. He’s a music teacher and claimed he was giving her vocal lessons. That would make more sense had they both not been half naked. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
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Top comments
cyttex 13
What a douchebag and shitty friend
HairyPunisher 27
They had nowhere better to go than your apartment? Time for new friends, a new girlfriend, and new locks OP.
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Comments (145)
UmmOkThen 31
Push-ups without a bra, huh.... Sounds uncomfortable.
abc_1_2_3 12
The fml says they were in their underwear, so maybe it was a pushup bra? No? *hides under rock*
zarosian 17
I hope you popped him between the eyes
Chaith 16
Ex-Girlfriend and best friend? I hope you mean Ex-Girlfriend and "Ex-Best Friend."
LonelyFellow 1
If your in Texas you could have shoot him. Best "friend" or not, i would have done it. All my friends know this too.
eg_noob 11
You could show them both a form of push ups and push them out the window together
vikky538 29
what a lame excuse...
pratikp03 22
It's ur ex y u care
Nymeria_fml 25
It says "now ex-girlfriend", so I'm assuming THIS is the reason why they broke up...
rocker_chick23 27
#85:He obviously broke up with his girlfriend after he found her cheating on him, hence the now ex part.
metalhedcop 6
You truly are a dumbass
jelly_bennett 23
Wow that's just cruel of them. Sorry to hear that OP I hope you discover a better life without them!
azyjazy713 11
The ultimate betrayal. Ppl have been shot for less. Fyl op
OhNoAGhost 18
I'll never understand people, I'm heartbroken just reading this. Sorry, OP.