Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 minutes away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, a customer walked up to me with a dog toy and said, "I knew one-stop shopping was a thing, but I didn't know you guys carried dildos." FML
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Top comments
ladybuglet 22
Instead of buying a card, use the money on extra batteries.
DocBastard 40
Why do people bother trying to lie like this? You think you're the first girl to buy a *****? It's like the guy who buy a Penthouse and condoms. "No, the Penthouse is for my, uh, girlfriend. She likes the articles."
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Comments (133)
MrsAlexander83 10
I'm sure it was all the inquisitive questions you asked... ;)
stonehare 7
buy one drop it on the counter and yes its my I tested first is that alright then try to get him to smell it.
stitesy29 18
Who the **** would work at an adult store?
Inked0803 12
You totally got called out. If you're not mature enough to own up to buying a sex toy then don't buy one
darkfireflame 15
Seen that trick before.
hipstertone 4
You know they probably sell that kind of stuff online, right? Lol
SuperAwesomeMane 10
just go to Amazon for that shit lol
Tyrez 32
Didn't know a ***** was such good company!
anonymous198913 26
That's not something you give as a gift, anyways...
longhairedmale 11
Am I the only one who read this to themselves in a Scottish accent. No. Just me then