Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the hospital for a few tests, and it turns out that she's pregnant. She has always said that she doesn't want kids, but I hoped that already being pregnant might change her mind. She called to schedule an abortion during the drive back home. FML
Today, I made an attempt to be nicer to customers at my job as instructed, which resulted in me listening to a handful of elderly people's incontinence issues, and a meth-addict's multiple abortions in detail. FML
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML
Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML
Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
guy24 9
She must if been talking very fast... Did she rap it to you?
MrSassypants 34
"Now let me tell you about my child, Wanted to have her aborted, 'cuz she wild, The father sucks, he looks like a duck, owns a shitty pick-up truck, and the pregnancy was terrible, the birth? Unbearable. The worst part was when I had to pee, Couldn't just sit down I had to lean, If I made a mess I would have to clean, It, yes, clean it all up, ******* smelled terrible; made me throw up, So what's up? I would like to order my meal, Chicken wings with fries, sounds like a nice deal, I would also like some coke, No ice 'cuz I easily choke, I'll also like some salad on the side, trying to watch my weight, I'm not trying fat up again 'cuz I'm on a date."
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
AliceAristocrat 12
Wait....when you're pregnant, it feels different when you pee?
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
**** her kid's life. It sounds like s/he is going to have the rough childhood of an unwanted child...
an3ph 20
Think of that poor kids life. That's the real sob story.
Crammed 10
Sounds like she is the one who shoulda wrote the fml!!
aliciavanham 13
So irritating when strangers decide they need to share that kind of details. Especially when you're working, so you have to pretend you care-_-
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
So she wanted to abort a perfectly healthy child, just because she hated the father? What a STUPID reason to want to terminate a pregnancy. Hey, each to their own when it comes to that touchy subject but the way i see it - My husband drives me crazy sometimes but that's no excuse to abort our kids. She should stop being so selfish. there isn't just her anymore.
FusRoYerFace 4
Amen to this.
strike2867 13
I thought that was going to end with "I'm her daughter".
buckdharma 38
His word was Yolo, he was my home boy He used yellow spray paint to leave his tag, and his step was full of swag We did the cha-cha, behind the Wa-wa and now I'm knocked-up and peein nars, and he's in lock-up for taggin bars What am I drinking? I'll have a Fanta Your desserts are the best here, so i'll skip the rest dear, and have a sundae, yes with banana
brittyed 11
Aww, she just needed to vent, OP. Hopefully she considers adoption if she's that regretful.
LyraAlluse 25
Well I see that the customer will never be winning mother of the year.