Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the hospital for a few tests, and it turns out that she's pregnant. She has always said that she doesn't want kids, but I hoped that already being pregnant might change her mind. She called to schedule an abortion during the drive back home. FML
Today, I made an attempt to be nicer to customers at my job as instructed, which resulted in me listening to a handful of elderly people's incontinence issues, and a meth-addict's multiple abortions in detail. FML
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML
Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML
Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML
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Top comments
guy24 9
She must if been talking very fast... Did she rap it to you?
MrSassypants 34
"Now let me tell you about my child, Wanted to have her aborted, 'cuz she wild, The father sucks, he looks like a duck, owns a shitty pick-up truck, and the pregnancy was terrible, the birth? Unbearable. The worst part was when I had to pee, Couldn't just sit down I had to lean, If I made a mess I would have to clean, It, yes, clean it all up, ******* smelled terrible; made me throw up, So what's up? I would like to order my meal, Chicken wings with fries, sounds like a nice deal, I would also like some coke, No ice 'cuz I easily choke, I'll also like some salad on the side, trying to watch my weight, I'm not trying fat up again 'cuz I'm on a date."
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Comments (84)
DarksideDoll 31
I'm just.. (1/3)
DarksideDoll 31
..getting.. (2/3)
DarksideDoll 31
..a badge! :D DEAL WITH IT! (3/3) or trying to.