Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
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Top comments
Malkria 1
What an ass...
MissIconic 8
Try a girl friend but not before smacking that horndog upside the head.
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Comments (116)
ohrlly7457 7
Well whats your definition of comfort
jopey21 2
Hmm, I would bet she didn't mind the company, and the comfort food. Only thing she didn't complained about was "her ****". No wonder he left her.
FMLKitten 15
#20 if only I could thumb you...
Sirin_fml 47
Who pissed in your Bud Light, #18? You can tell us. We'll make sure he never causes you to make such an incredibly idiotic comment again.
fuzz97 23
bing bang boom roasted
jopey21 2
Really? I get all thumbs down for this comment. Cause I call it as I see it! This FML is only about her and her break up. She is self centered around herself. There is always more to a story. We are only hearing one side of it! And, I'm not the guy that left her either!
SenselessPattern 12
Double mods? My god, it's like a one-two KO.
Shadowvoid 33
I feel more stupider after reading #18's comment. See? The correct usage is more stupid.
dominic1221 6
Buy a dictionary, n00bvoid.
fuzz97 23
Me feel even more stupider after read Shadowvoid comment
Caliborn_06 11
Slick move!
SeniorHaG 4
You're friend seems to "feel" your pain. XD I'd take the ice cream and leave.
howrudoin 11
He was trying to comfort you in terms of the physical aspect of the relationship instead of the emotional part lol. If he was smooth he would've tried this after spending more time comforting you, he made a gamble by making this move trying to take advantage of your vulnerability, but at least you know his true intentions of being your friend all along. def a FML for you OP.
the_derps 4
if he was smooth he would have some ******* respect for women and not pretend to be their friends in a sad attempt to get laid.
annie_nk 23
He is the definition of scum.
JFurr 9
You've posted 89 comments. Of all those, this is your definition of scum? Don't get me wrong, going for someone on the rebound like that is terrible. It's worse when the person does something like touching her. But seriously, this is the thing you define as scum in today's world?
annie_nk 23
Not all my 89 comments were on FMLs about a guy mistreating a woman. I think the term douche is getting overused (he IS a douche though). To me, he is also scum. A low life, bottom of the food chain type creature. That's my definition.
mrsmirk 8
Truth is guys only treat you like that if they THINK you're a *****. I'm not saying it's your fault... or that you are a *****. But maybe you led him on? Guys also do that kind of stuff if they THINK they can get away with it, as in because they think you wont get mad at them or if they think it can be acceptable as a joke.. the kind of joke where they aren't totally jokingly. ..ultimately I gotta say it was a ballsy move on his part and that on the fml leaderboard of awesome fmls, this ones at the bottom.
astralvagan 20
I'm sorry that this happened to you OP.... There are some real pricks in this world, and unfortunately you found one.... Now I'm not sure who broke up with who, but I would suggest meet their friends before you make it serious.... And remove your douche bag friend from your life.
Hockeyboy4280 18
Sounds like he wanted to serve you a different kind of creme
mrsmirk 8
oh my god you hung around after he felt you up. That's like him beating you while ur down, and then you laugh and still chill with him... That alone is leading him on, what's to say you didn't also just S his D in ur emotionaly weakened state? yeah I think you gave him a headshot. I bet it was your ex's best friend and you didnt even know him until you met ur ex or something... lol im sorry I guess I could be totally wrong.
Vball6 19
No you're totally right.