Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a girl asking for money on the median of an entrance to a parking lot with her dog. Later, I bought a box of dog treats for her. I drove up and handed it to her. She rolled her eyes and said, "How the hell am I supposed to carry that?" I sat there in stunned disbelief with the box she refused to take. FML
Today, a group of Girl Scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought two bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML
Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML
Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fundraiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in four weeks, she said, "Oh I can't wait!" Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!" FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML
Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML
Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML
Today, after spending two hours baking cookies for my niece's school's fundraiser, I packed them into a container and drove to the school. When I got there, the teacher looked confused and said the fundraiser was next Saturday. By the time the actual date arrived, every cookie had been eaten by my family. FML
Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML
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Top comments
thee_most_dope 30
maybe she meant junk food? or....i really dont know.
201chasew 22
I'm not sure if it was an awkward rejection to your cookies, or that she may be anorexic which is a much more serious problem.
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Comments (68)
emmsies 16
...so what she has anorexia
sonnyrosa 32
She doesn't eat food? More like **** HER life... food's great
sky_star101 7
She could be anorexic
CaptainRR 20
Is she a vampire?
skychu 18
Am I the only one thinking of the soylent diet?
TwinkleToes7 15
Honestly that's a pretty funny thing to say to reject food, but I get it you can't always eat sweets. Maybe she was on a diet?
hellowisaid 15
Maybe you were too good looking so she got nervous and wanted to say something "nice" which didn't turn out too well / could be a fml from her perspective
NDteacher 10
Maybe this is the flip side to another forthcoming FML. "...I was trying to say 'I don't eat sweets' and it came out 'I don't eat food. FML." ?
733yoda_fml 19
She doesn't eat food because she is a vampire and she drinks blood
cartedor 18
she is awesome, just too good