Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a girl asking for money on the median of an entrance to a parking lot with her dog. Later, I bought a box of dog treats for her. I drove up and handed it to her. She rolled her eyes and said, "How the hell am I supposed to carry that?" I sat there in stunned disbelief with the box she refused to take. FML
Today, a group of Girl Scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought two bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML
Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML
Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fundraiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in four weeks, she said, "Oh I can't wait!" Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!" FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML
Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML
Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML
Today, after spending two hours baking cookies for my niece's school's fundraiser, I packed them into a container and drove to the school. When I got there, the teacher looked confused and said the fundraiser was next Saturday. By the time the actual date arrived, every cookie had been eaten by my family. FML
Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML
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Top comments
thee_most_dope 30
maybe she meant junk food? or....i really dont know.
201chasew 22
I'm not sure if it was an awkward rejection to your cookies, or that she may be anorexic which is a much more serious problem.
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Comments (68)
Tsukiyomi 16
Ooooo Think she'll die if she keeps that up?
dem_crumblies 0
This is the best response ever, I'm going to use this.
jaydemonkey 6
Sounds like that girl needs some help
sickmyduckplz 2
It's college, most students don't consume anything except pot and beer.
ShenaniganNinja 20
I can see the woman writing her own FML about trying to talk to her and she panicked and said this.
garf3265 12
why F your life?
Starham1 14
This isn't just plain old stupid. This is advanced stupid.
_ali__cat_ 14
Maybe she was embarrassed that she didn't have any money.