Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a girl asking for money on the median of an entrance to a parking lot with her dog. Later, I bought a box of dog treats for her. I drove up and handed it to her. She rolled her eyes and said, "How the hell am I supposed to carry that?" I sat there in stunned disbelief with the box she refused to take. FML
Today, a group of Girl Scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought two bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML
Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML
Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fundraiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in four weeks, she said, "Oh I can't wait!" Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!" FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML
Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML
Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML
Today, after spending two hours baking cookies for my niece's school's fundraiser, I packed them into a container and drove to the school. When I got there, the teacher looked confused and said the fundraiser was next Saturday. By the time the actual date arrived, every cookie had been eaten by my family. FML
Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML
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Top comments
thee_most_dope 30
maybe she meant junk food? or....i really dont know.
201chasew 22
I'm not sure if it was an awkward rejection to your cookies, or that she may be anorexic which is a much more serious problem.
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Comments (68)
thee_most_dope 30
maybe she meant junk food? or....i really dont know.
Murilirum 23
I'd honestly just start laughing at that statement. It's obviously not true but how do you even respond to that...?
Senorangelo 10
My grandfather (rip) was a geography teacher. At one point he started getting anonymous calls. After many many calls he got pissed and asked WTF do you want from me? A creepy voice responded slowly: we want your brains! Aaaaanyway... Maybe it's the same thing.
briang959 47
I agree. Maybe she did mean junk food. Unless she only consumes juice drinks to stay alive. :)
Stormcloak 20
Some idiots go on "air diets" where they just breathe heavily with the occasional juice.
T_Young96 13
I'm waiting on a following FML that says, "Today my social anxiety was so overwhelming that I anxiously responded to this hot guy/girl selling cookies that I "don't eat food". FML"
NinjaDitto623 14
She may be anorexic, when I starved myself I know I said that a lot when people offered me food.
ABCDEF121 3
She Could've just been Foodophobic
MzZombicidal 36
While her response was unsavory at least be proud, OP! You're doing something awesome! :D FYL for having to handle students like that, though.
iLike2Teabag 27
I'm assuming OP is selling the cookies at U of Toronto (from name and location). I go there and everyone I know loves cookies. That girl is abnormal.
201chasew 22
I'm not sure if it was an awkward rejection to your cookies, or that she may be anorexic which is a much more serious problem.
cryssycakesx3 23
yeah but if she were struggling she probably wouldn't go around announcing it. just my guess though.
Sakuraashita 15
One of my closest friends has an eating disorder, and she talks about it so casually sometimes that when she first told me I thought she was joking.
doodlecloud 27
Or possibly she's just sick of people selling stuff/asking for donations/etc. I haven't had the balls to say it but often when people ask I really wanna just shout 'sorry, I don't believe in helping others!' Kinda horrible but I don't believe in guilt donations and you do get sick of it when every third person you pass is asking for something.
cryssycakesx3 23
I understand, 55. my boyfriend has said "I don't believe in charity, charity is stupid..."
Colon_Man 17
A lot of times charities can be rip offs, too. United Way got busted a few years back with pocketing most of the cash.
Neverafter 14
Maybe she's on that photosynthesis diet c:
nikkipettyfer 24
My faith in humanity lowers day by day
MzZombicidal 36
Faith in humanity... hitting... dangerously low levels... best get on FML... there's nothing... but good stories on there... ...oh...no...
theawkwardlife 21
Yeah it's all of humanity's fault. This girl doesn't want his cookies? ******* abolish all of human race then why don't you.
YourProblemsSuck 2
GOD DAMMIT HUMANITY WHY WILL YOU NOT ACCEPT COOKIES?!
random_cashmere 25
She could have been anorexic, OP. You also should not be complaining about ts, as you do not know if there was anything going on with her.
wallamanut 14
no, because any actual anorexic person isn't going to announce that "hey guys! I'm anorexic. I won't buy your cookies because I'd rather starve myself! " is much more likely that she just didn't want to buy OP's cookies and make a really bad excuse instead of saying they didn't want any. kind of like saying "I'm not from here." when petition people ask if you're registered to vote. you don't want to say "yes, but I'm not interested," because you don't want to come off as rude, but you also don't want to actually talk to them because you'll probably end up signing the petition out of awkwardness even though you really have no idea what exactly their agenda is. I awkwardly signed a petition once that I ended up voting against, and then started getting emails saying "thank you for being a supporter of this measure.
emmsies 16
I think she was anorexia....she could be open about her condition and way to be stereotypical about anorexia it's not always like that
wallamanut 14
I said an actual anorexic person wouldn't normally do that. you're the one stereotyping by saying "Well she openly said she doesn't eat food, so the only logical conclusion for why she said that is she's anorexic." anorexia is pretty serious, and most people who suffer from it don't want to acknowledge anything's wrong or that they're hurting themselves, let alone openly tell random strangers about it like it's no big deal.
Cass_x 22
She doesn't seem to deserve the joy of cookies anyway!
BadApple88 29
Because she's a vampire
thee_most_dope 30
that was my first thought! lol
cherry_popper69 11
How. It's probably daytime and OP wouldn't get a lot of business in nighttime. Twilight has ruined this generation
BadApple88 29
Oh hush. Vampires existed years before Twilight
PixelPokey 12
#50, anything is possible. Could be a daylighter, anyhow. Twilight was totally boring and just stares and.heavy breathing but....
devildog562 33
Well, that seems a little unbelievable. I guess it's a nice way to avoid talking to you. Could have been a lot worse.
DocBastard 40
That's one way to stay thin. Reeeeeeeaaaaaally thin.