Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML
Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter didn't do the laundry. Her excuse? "If it was meant to be done, it would have done itself." This is the same daughter who yesterday tried convincing me she was responsible enough to get a dog. FML
Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML
Today, I had to give my four year-old daughter some tough love, which I hate doing. When she ran away crying, my son, her twin brother, looked at me and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself." FML
Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, I went to my 19 year-old daughter’s apartment when I heard her baby crying. I have a spare key so I opened the door to find her crying in her rocker. I called my daughter and it turns out she went on a weekend to Malibu with her friends and she “left her some milk and a bowl of Cheerios. She’ll be alright.” FML
Today, I noticed my daughter’s sullen mood and asked if there was anything I could do to help. With tears in her eyes, she snapped, “Yeah, you can go back in time and keep that appointment you’d made at planned parenthood!” I never had such an appointment and her older brother is a mean asshole. FML
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Top comments
Demig0d6 14
Maybe you shouldn't have done it
flashback.miss 28
"Well, I couldn't do worse."
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Comments (112)
Tannasgh 22
Ouch...
Sigilwen 24
She has no idea what all goes in to raising kids. Sad thing is they think YOU screwed up raising them when in reality there just mad that skipping dinner then wanting dessert doesn't happen.
askullnamedbilly 33
Oooor OP could be a legitimately crappy parent. Just because he knows how to use FML doesn't mean he didn't manage to screw his kids up.
worldclassrager 41
Regift the book to her when she has children...
kelsorg 21
good thing she wouldn't even be able to get that book without YOU in the first place. UNFORGIVABLE. fyl
Nyarlothatep 12
Tell her you already made one mistake, so why make another?
draylwwis 2
beet that ass
SpamPam 18
Beets are for eating not beating
stupidface15 16
at least she didnt give you drugs
BWARD51 12
Umm burn.
Spyderbane 10
There is a chance that they have a great relationship and the daughter was making a playful joke.
slipstreak 10
Your daughter is awesome. Bazinga.