Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML
Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML
Today, my nineteen year-old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said, "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML
Today, I received two letters, one from my mom, the other from my dad, about how much they missed me with me not being around them. I called my mom, feeling sad. She didn't sound sad at all. She asked me which letter was better. My parents were competing each other which letter would be more moving. FML
Today, I learned that my 11 year-old daughter wrote a love letter to her teacher. Cute, right? It was an incredibly graphic letter where she asked him to "abduct her and chain her up in his basement." I now must find her a new school and a therapist. FML
Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said, "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank space: "Less often." FML
Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML
Today, was parent appreciation day at my daughter's KG class. On the stage, each child was asked to define each parent in one word. When it was my daughter's turn, she looked at me hard, thinking. Finally, in the end she said, "My daddy is very fat." Everybody stared. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Steffi3 40
Atleast she thinks highly of you?
ActionFearo 39
All jokes aside, why'd she write this? Kids are pretty innocent and unless it was something she heard you or someone say, then there's a reason for it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (53)
Steffi3 40
Atleast she thinks highly of you?
teentee401 37
Yeah, isn't this more of an FML for the dad?
ActionFearo 39
All jokes aside, why'd she write this? Kids are pretty innocent and unless it was something she heard you or someone say, then there's a reason for it.
patrickalamo 48
It's a kid. Tell them to go outside and play. Then have a good laugh.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
It doesn't necessarily mean the kid heard something mom said. The child could just be really observant of situations around her. I told my mother when I was in kindergarten that her and my father were going to get a divorce and that I believed they should. I maintained that stance right up until the point they actually did divorce when I was in seventh grade. The reason was because I saw the way my father treats people, including his wife and kids. I saw the way he made my mother feel no matter how much she tried to hide it. I put all that together and came to the conclusion that they were two people who should not remain together. I knew all this without either one of my parents having to bad mouth the other to me. A thing which thankfully they have never felt the need to do. The OP's child could be observing similar behavior. The OP could be one of those "we have to hang on for the kids" people and not realizing how much it shows.
Brandi_Faith 34
35: I agree that children are very sensitive to the things going on around them and pick up greatly on behaviour. However I also think that the daughter has heard that sentence before. It's not typically a sentence (even grammar wise) that a 5 year old would say. I think she may have heard someone say that jokingly to her mom or she's heard it from somewhere else. I also understand that you picked up on your parents situation and felt that your dad wasn't treating people right and felt that they would be better apart, but if you were in kindergarten (4-5) then you probably heard the word divorce from someone else and applied it to your parents situation as well. Chances are the daughter has heard that sentence before, felt that it applied to her mom (maybe she sees her mother working around the house more and feels her dad doesn't do much) and that's why she said it. Either way it's pretty funny.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I actually didn't use the word divorce specifically. I told her they wouldn't be living together anymore and that would be good. I didn't actually know that there was a legal process involved in leaving people. I just thought all she had to do was move elsewhere. I was more just trying to specify that the sentiment may actually be what the child feels more so than someone else told her to feel it or think it.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Missed the edit point but I also want to ask since when is "You could have done better than..." a sentence most 5 year olds don't know or use? From babyhood on people "You could have done better than that" and it's variations. It wouldn't be hard for any child to figure out what that sentence means and put it to a context that seems appropriate.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
I have a 5 year old sister that says more complex things all the time. She used the phrase "once in a blue moon" earlier, correctly, and that's something I don't even say. From being around people to watching TV, children's vocabulary and syntax grows pretty quickly. I have no trouble imagining a 5 year old saying this! OP, hopefully you take a look at your situation and see how it's affecting your daughter for her to say this. While it could be something random (while kids say complex stuff sometimes, it can be completely unfounded, kids do love to hear themselves speak), if your husband isn't treating you guys well, maybe a family (or just adult) talk is in order. Good luck :)
LalaDee561 8
Five year old children aren't stupid. Children understand a lot more than we think, even if they don't have the verbal skills to express it all. It also depends on the child. Some children are a lot more observant than others. Trust me, I used to be a preschool teacher. Even at 3 years old, children sense ad understand a lot more than their parents think.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Could have been worse. Could have been "Dear Dad, you could have done better than mom"
zBLAKEz 23
So basically she's trying to break her parents up so that she'll get twice the presents? Genius.
Malecent 13
It would be worse for her, at least
keiNan_fml 35
your daughter has great sense of humor lol.
man_in_black08 28
Well, would you have done better if you could? Lol
BossPathfinderGM 14
The innocent, brutal honesty of a child is a beautiful thing.
pdp_fml 21
Ouch! Children don't lie do they? She might have been mad at dad for not buying her a present.
Razell 13
yyyyeah.... anyone who thinks children don't lie has never actually met one.
Orhugs 11
Officially the fakest post I've ever seen on here.
AGB10 19
Kids that age speak their mind without filters. If she said that it's likely she has someone in mind and you should find out who and why she thinks so and help her think differently?
cheeeksss 29
Ouch. I'd say F your husband's life. But of course, there must be a reason behind her saying this. I doubt a 5 year old would write this without reason.
Brandi_Faith 34
I agree. I find it hard to believe that she hasn't heard that sentence before. Maybe someone has told her mom that jokingly and she overheard, or maybe she's heard it from somewhere else, but that's not the type of sentence a five year old would say without having heard it somewhere else first. There's also a good chance she doesn't fully know what it means. It is pretty funny though hearing that from a 5 year old. :)