Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML
Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML
Today, I walked into the office bathroom and saw my manager in tears. I tried to comfort her and gave her a hug. Turns out, she wasn’t crying, she was having a sneezing fit, and looked horrified at my sympathy hug. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML
Today, I was walking into the building I hoped to work in someday with my resume, ready to be interviewed. As I walked through the doors I had to sneeze, so lifted my hands and sneezed a huge bloody booger right in the middle of the cover page. Turns out future employers don't like that. FML
Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
starberries 0
Introducing yourself to the new manager gets you bonus points and a raise? I would have thought that was basic etiquette.
candy29 10
why didnt you just turn your head? you cant tell me you dont feel them coming
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (71)
ChubbyCake 5
I hope her mouth was open
restythestar 0
more like FHL
jessicapea 5
^ This. Poor woman got sneezed on.
EnterSandman_fml 20
That's what you get for brown-nosing and being a suck-ass.
starberries 0
Introducing yourself to the new manager gets you bonus points and a raise? I would have thought that was basic etiquette.
Schizomaniac 24
Exactly. I want Optimus Prime's job if this is the case.
Doopliss01 0
YDI
imright24 0
Nobody sneezes so quickly that they don't have time to turn their head and cover their mouth. YDI.
C6Racer 0
I have. Several times. Luckily there hasn't been any collateral damage in my case. It happens so fast it's like wtf. I've learned to sneeze in a way that nothing flys out of my nose.
perdix 31
That's what you get for coming back to work too soon. The new manager is going to love your enthusiasm when she's coughing, sneezing and vomiting because of the plague you bestowed upon her. I hope you had the wherewithal to say your name was that of a co-worker you don't like.
Devin91 20
that sucks
amerwin 3
Since when do you "score a raise" by introducing yourself to your superior? With reflexes like yours, you would be better served hiding from your boss in hopes that your anonymity allows you to keep your job.
retsneiz 0
hahahahaa totally deserve that