Today, when my almost-16-year-old asked if the 9-1-1 phone number was named after 9/11, I forgave her because she wasn't even born when it happened, but when my 18-year-old asked if jelly comes from jellyfish, I wondered if I've failed as a parent. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers asked if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML
Today, as always, my mom loudly asked me if I'd brushed my teeth, then replied to my yes with, “I don’t believe you.” All because I forgot to brush my teeth once when I was 5. I’m 17 now. FML
Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML
Today, I overheard my mom talking to a friend on the phone. What caught my attention was when she said, "You ever look at your kid and just think... 'Fuck. Where'd I go wrong?'" FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML
Today, I got a call from my kid’s school, saying my daughter had a minor accident on the playground. When they asked her who to call, she'd said, "My mom’s probably in a meeting. Call the pizza place, they always pick up." FML
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Top comments
Kraths 16
Don’t feel bad. My parents actually managed to convince my brother that chocolate milk comes from brown cows for well over 18 years
RichardPencil 32
It's ok that they're stupid. Our society is well-suited to sustain a large stupid population (although we're testing the limits now.) Don't blow your 18-year-old's mind by telling them there's no butter in peanut butter.
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Comments (9)
Kraths 16
Don’t feel bad. My parents actually managed to convince my brother that chocolate milk comes from brown cows for well over 18 years
RichardPencil 32
It's ok that they're stupid. Our society is well-suited to sustain a large stupid population (although we're testing the limits now.) Don't blow your 18-year-old's mind by telling them there's no butter in peanut butter.
samomaha 17
Ask the 18 year old if s/he knows why they are called "sperm whales". When she says, "No", just smile and walk away!!
AmbrosiaFan 19
Failed as a parent... We taught our 9 year old 9-1-1 a few years ago...
DarkAngelsBlade 25
Hey don’t be too hard on them, they weren’t born when jelly was created either. Lol
DarkAngelsBlade 25
It’s okay, they also weren’t born when jelly was invented.
ViviMage 40
Maybe the 18 year old watched Spongebob?
IHaveThePower 18
I say this a lot, but until 25 or so, there's a LOT of brain growth happening, and it can cause some very strange moments. Just be patient and explain things, and they'll grow out of it.
MxCrix3333 10
Wait, as in the product or the term? If it is about the term, that's not dumb. If it is about product, that is concerning. I just looked it up, and if anyone is curious: the reason they are called "jellyfish" is literally because of their jelly-like bodies. The term "jelly" comes from the 14th century and the term "jellyfish" from the 18th century.