Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to ride my bike for the first time in over a year. It was seemingly going well, until I got to the first hill. As I began to ascend, I was trying a bit to hard and shit my pants, 8 kilometers away from my house. FML
Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML
Today, my bike slipped on ice and I slid spectacularly for several meters. While my helmet saved me from a cracked skull, nothing could protect me from landing leg-first in the dog poop somebody hadn't bothered to pick up. I had to go to school like that. FML
Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML
Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML
Today, I was cycling home. On the way, my laces got stuck in the bicycle pedals and I couldn't move the foot that got stuck. The bicycle fell over, with me attached to it. Everyone was looking at me like, "What are you doing?" FML
Today, I was trying to be environmentally friendly by riding my BMX to work. My 'rad skills' are out of whack because I hit a pothole, fell off, and landed in a pile of trash bags that were dumped by the side of the road. The irony wasn’t lost on me. FML
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home, in the middle of nowhere, when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML
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Top comments
poolshark 0
You might want to look into a tetanus shot and some antibiotics... feces and open wounds do not mix.
padlarf 14
Holy shit man!
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Comments (257)
Cdldriver 0
Such a pendejo how old are you?
redmen44 0
Haha noob
xHaniffax 0
I know this is awful but it made me chuckle :/ Hope you're okay?
SayNo2Quack 0
Totally and 100% deserved that.
0geckofun_ 0
YDI for riding a bike. only idiots ride bikes. seriously, what kind of a loser are you?
firey994 0
99 lots of people ride bikes. your probably some fatass who eat mcdonalds and burger king for every meal
fml1358 0
man that sucks. and #99 a lot of people ride bikes and they aren't idiots
Lokkjaw 0
Haha bichass you def deserve it for effin showing off
jeremymg91 0
Haha this is a true FML
0geckofun_ 0
#100 you are a loser. you are perpetrating the lie. bikeriders are filthy communists.
famster 0
Your life ******* sucks were you covered in shit like the slumdog kid LOL