Today, my twin sons have decided to forego the toilet, and instead poop in random places around the house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my youngest son, for the third time, decided that the toilet is not where he wants to go to the bathroom. This wouldn't be an issue if he wasn't also squatting in the yard to take a dump. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
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Top comments
stumpygremlin 13
They’ll grow up to be superintendents of schools and poop on football fields
Dave_Davington 34
Have you tried rubbing their noses in it? That might help.
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Comments (18)
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Let the punishments commence.
TCRII 30
Have them clean it up.
Amanda Jaworski 23
And they are 27...
ChromoTec 24
As they always say, "double trouble!"
Dave_Davington 34
Have you tried rubbing their noses in it? That might help.
Mungolikecandy 19
The twist in the tale; they are 27 years old!
RichardPencil 32
It’s very strange that you and “Amanda Jaworski” both chose 27 as the age of the fully-grown twins.
Mungolikecandy 19
That is the standard age of twins following a strange event in Midwich 27 years ago... I actually find it strange that that comment posted here and on another unrelated FML when I only made it once?
stumpygremlin 13
They’ll grow up to be superintendents of schools and poop on football fields
Lobby_Bee 18
I think they might be mad at you.
LAUGHINGKOMODO 25
So how old are they? When I started reading this, I was thinking of teenagers. Then I got to the end and I was hoping they were not.
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a new version of Hide-and-Seek where they’ve changed the meaning of “it.”
Glowworm56 27
This is the grossest version of hide and seek I've ever heard of!
Glowworm56 27
This is the grossest version of hide and seek I've ever heard of!
Glowworm56 27
This is the grossest version of hide and seek I've ever heard of!