Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML
Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML
Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
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Top comments
PlasticShark 0
YDI for even wanting to pat the belly in the first place... that's just... disturbing... =
sarah8909 0
So the jewels were sticking out where you were patting or you just didn't bother looking and decided to pat him in that general area? YDI
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Comments (203)
Tick_fml 0
all i can say is: LOLLLLLLLLLL!!
pommeblossom 0
AHAHAHHA! THAT SUCKS SO BAD!
Linx_fml 0
INCEST!!!!! :O, ha its actually hilarous he never said anything. maybe he was enjoying it? maybe ull get payed...?
zoomster 0
AWKWARD.
vuhneedah 0
LOL how do you confuse your dad's stomach with THAT ? i was readin the comments...and maybe they just patted it two times really quickly you knoww ?
tropmignon 0
HHAAHAHHAHA #32 totalllllly. id just pack up and move out, because the next few weeks are gonna be AWKWARRRRD. hahah i feel so bad for you.
jku1293 0
Your dad must have huge testicles so as to be even compared in size with his fat stomach. There is either someone wrong with you, or with your dad, or quite possible both.
tthreat23 0
hahahhahahahaah #4
Quinnjamin 0
why would u pat your dad's stomach in the first place?
lowcapacityx 0
SCORE! SECOND BASE WITH THE DAD. Maybe he'll raise your allowance.