Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that my 29-year-old boyfriend won't stay the night at my house because he lives at home with his parents and doesn't want to have "the discussion" with his mom about me. FML
Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML
Today, my boyfriend's mum said she won't stop us from seeing each other, yet she'll only allow me to see him for 30 minutes a day, for 2 days a week, and gets mad if he sees me for any longer, because "mother knows best." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had a fight about his parents. We're both 23-year-old university students who aren't allowed in his bedroom unless the door is completely open. Nothing he says to his parents will change this. FML
Today, my boyfriend couldn't go on a date with me because his mom said no. He's 23. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk" with your boyfriend, when he's 23, right before you were supposed to have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend said angrily that he should never have gotten together with me, that he should have known a woman with divorced parents would have daddy issues, and never be quite right in the head. His own parents are divorced by the way, and his mom is extremely overbearing. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML
Today, during an argument between me and my boyfriend, he called for his mom. She came up and told us both off and told us to stop screaming, as if we were kids. We are both well over 30. FML
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Top comments
Nilorak 24
It isn't normal?
crazypplun1te 4
yeah his "mother"
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Comments (191)
AFCCT 7
Hey, at least she's not coming over and personally inspecting it for an hour
jamalamadingdong 18
Yet...
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Girrrl, shit just got real.
olpally 33
That's just a super level of crazy and weird. The most I talk to my parents is like 5-10 minutes a day. Good god, that's not normal, at all. Run.
chinaski7628 32
I don't think it's the length of the conversation that's weird. It's the topic of the conversation that's weird. It's perfectly normal to have long conversations with your parents. Just not about your genitals.
Kibaruto 33
That was the joke Einstein.
DanielleinDC 34
Regular, hour-long conversations with mom? Someone's got the apron strings tied a bit too tightly. That they're about his penis is creepy beyond belief. Wonder what Freud would say about that.
lenehey 7
maybe, chinaski, but not every day, no matter what the topic is.
chinaski7628 32
True-- not everyday, but I live in a different city than my parents and have been known to talk to my mom for an hour or so at a time (about normal things). And when I'm home, I spend a lot of time with them. It also helps that I'm an adult who has lived away from home for 20 years. I definitely didn't talk to them this much when I was a teen. Somehow they got more tolerable the older I got and further away I moved :)
grindzilla 4
How is this weird when it's his mom? She kinda birthed him and had to change him...
Pleonasm 36
The question is, how ISN'T this weird when it's his mum?
tishtashbat 16
Yes, she birthed him 23 years ago and changed him as a baby because that babies need to be taken care of, not to inspect his penis. Since then he's become an ADULT, and this kind of conversation with a parent is not needed or normal.
grindzilla 4
So he feels comfortable talking to his mom about his junk. She's not even seeing it. They're just talking about it. Not that big of a deal.
Pleonasm 36
Hey, I mean if you're partial to talking about the intricacies of your genitalia for large amounts of time with your parents then more power to you! Just know that everyone isn't the same.
CoGhostRider 31
I guess you would have hour long conversations with your dad about your vaginal discharge?
Guy11 17
What if his moms a doctor or something?
cryssycakesx3 23
I have a feeling he wasn't talking about his rod for that whole hour.
buttcramp 21
unless the boyfriend has a medical issue or is trans, it's not right.
spignona84 11
....maybe it's not his mother
Flowtastic 16
Maybe it's Jake from State Farm
MrsPlague 11
What are you wearing, "Jake" from "State Farm"?
NightHawk387 22
Uh...Khakis.
cryptic26 12
Well she sounds hideous.
cryssycakesx3 23
well she's a guy, so...
letsgooo_fml 23
Well she's a guy, so…
Rainhawk94 27
Well she's a guy, so...
GrimmReefer92 9
Hahaha...i love how people continued this
Sathane 21
What's weird is that he has enough material to carry on several hours of conversations regarding his penis. Seems unlikely. The more likely scenario here is that he likes to speak to his mother but whining about that isn't exactly FML worthy, now is it? Throw in a dick and suddenly it's FML gold. Suck it up. If you don't like the fact he has a comfortable relationship with his mother, do him a favour and leave.
martin8337 36
Creepy.
Dontalktome 9
Are you dating Norman Bates?
upallnight11 19
No, he only dates his mother.
martin8337 36
Oedipus Complex if I ever heard of one.
TheAbstract 15
Ovid's Withering - Oedipus Complex. Give it a listen. May not be your cup of tea musically, but lyrically very applicable to this situation.
GirlGamer12345 22
Break up with him?
sjbartholome 14
yeah because breaking up is always the answer.
GirlGamer12345 22
Well if he's talking to his mother about his penis there's obviously something wrong there. It could be insecurity or just something weird. Who knows what could be next. I would break up with him...
jaellin 18
It's always the answer on fml. I swear I see it at least once on every post. Got a cactus thrown at your head? Break up with your boyfriend!
whyusofat 17
What if he was the one who threw the cactus?
JazNim17 18
Bad example there. If my boyfriend threw a cactus at my head, I'd leave him in an instant.
Murilirum 23
She birthed every bit of his body. You don't grow out of being your mothers child. 23 months old, or 23 years old, still the same parts as before.
Coeliacchic93 21
there's gotta be an issue if a 23 year old has the same Penis as a 23month old o.O
Pleonasm 36
Well, it's still the SAME penis. I'd didn't swap out or anything.