Today, I realized that in the 3 and half month relationship with a wonderful guy I truly like, so far I've masturbated more than the whole year I was single before I met him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML
Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Today, it's been exactly one year since I’ve had sex, and even that was because my wife caught me masturbating and helped me out with a zero effort handjob that was over in 15 seconds, since I’d already done 90% of the work. FML
Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cybersex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML
Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML
Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML
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Top comments
Bogrbon 27
Maybe you're just more turned on by him? I guess you need to get to the root of it, and see about the intimacy with him when the time is right.
RichardPencil 32
He sounds like a real jerk-off.
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Comments (4)
Bogrbon 27
Maybe you're just more turned on by him? I guess you need to get to the root of it, and see about the intimacy with him when the time is right.
ghostinflames 13
This answer right here!
RichardPencil 32
He sounds like a real jerk-off.
tounces7 28
Why though? Initiate sex more if you want sex. And if he's turning you down a lot, either get him to tell you what's going on, or get rid of him because that's a huge red flag in a guy.
Jeremy Moor 4
How is a guy not wanting sex a red flag? He probably just has a low sex drive...
kfchicken 31
or with the global pandemic and social distancing in place he's not too keen on swapping spit.
juggalo2 22
What is the problem? Are you getting hand cramps?